New couple Victor and Karen have even less to talk about than everybody else when it comes to "What will you miss about your partner", so instead they talk about the Hot Tamale Train (lordy) and Spanish. They've got a tango, and the video package doesn't mention the choreographers' names. I'll help: it's clearly Tony Meredith and Melanie Lapatin. The dance is to "Montserrat" by Orequesta del Plata. All I know about the tango is that it should occasionally look as though the dancers' legs detach at the knee and fly around of their own accord. Also it should look sexy. And I guess it does, although I think Victor looks a little bit stiff. Adam lavishes praise on both of the dancers, so what do I know? By the way, isn't it nice to occasionally have a show where the judges like the performers and say nice things about them, instead of going all Cowell on them? And then Mary comes in with technical commentary, which is also fun, both because it means she's not shrieking about imaginary pepper-themed railroads and because I enjoy hearing experts talk even when I don't completely understand the details. In this case, Mary would like to praise Tony and Melanie for putting in extra pivots. Nigel mostly praises them, except that he has some sort of problem with Victor's posture.
Nathan and Mollee seem like very nice kids. I'm just sick of them. But there's no time to work on my issues with judges telling me whom to like, because it's time for them to do a Jamal Sims Hip-Hop routine. I think they're taking this "character" directive too far, because Nathan will be playing Alexander Graham Bell, and Mollee will be his assistant. So she's Watson, I guess. And how dare you imply that I had to look that up. Mollee has a strained idea about them inventing the telephone, which fans will then use to vote for them. And we're off! To "Ring-A-Ling" by the Black Eyed Peas. That's the last straw. Look, there's way too much going on in this dance for me to take it seriously. And that's not even counting the spot where Nathan uses Mollee's legs as a telephone handset. Adam starts out by telling us that Mollee had "a few bobbles" because of a hurt ankle. He ends up at "good job". Mary has an extended telephone metaphor that I'm not prepared to sort through. "Fun and mostly synchronized" seems like faint praise. Nigel starts with "I think you're both really good dancers" and felt it was twee. Yes, twee. Conspiracy theorists take note that Nigel says he's sure both dancers will be in the top ten.