Nigel jokes about all the weirdo choreography this season and jokes that she shouldn't be doing all the lifts at the end if she's preggers. He compliments Tabitha & Napoleon for not demanding some sort of fabricated urban-ness from the most White Bread couple of all time. He loves these two moppets, but let's be honest: Yikes! Mary, like me, was expecting a train wreck. She faintly praises them, but does note that she specifically looked at Evan for screw-ups, and he didn't eff up. So... good job? Tyce compliments Tabitha & Napoleon's storytelling because he has very little positive to say about the actual dancers. And his vague commentary and swimming motions prove as much.

Next, Janette and Brandon will perform an Argentine Tango from Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo. Brandon looks around nervously and snickers as he describes the tango as "pure sex." He is understandably fidgety, considering he and Janette have yet to capture their intimacy. The fact that she and the choreographers speak primarily in Spanish, which he doesn't understand, is no help. Cue the music: "Libertango" from Forever Tango (Original Broadway Cast Album). Side note: No offense to Forever Tango, but it's like choreographers on this show don't realize that tango was made for more than 100 years before that damn show hit the boards. But I digress... The tango begins. It's as sultry as it should be, all entwined and such. The eye contact is fierce, and Brandon is definitely in the lead. Janette does a lift where she flicks her legs in a delightfully spritely manner. (Aren't you glad I took 20 years of dance before writing this recap so I can characterize intricate choreography in such a haphazard way?) Overall, it's completely professional and skillful, if not entirely my cup of tea.

Cat throws to Nigel, who stays very quiet for a few moments before rising to his feet. Tyce and Mary follow in suit. Cat lets the kids give props where props are due: to the choreographers. Nigel says it's the closest any ballroom routine on the show has ever come to perfection. Cat moves onto Mary, and Nigel warns "If that train ain't comin', there's gonna be bloody trouble." Mary says it was outstanding, that Brandon has yet to disappoint her. She calls Janette flawless and upgrades them both to first-class tickets on the HTT. Screeching. Tyce calls them a power couple because of their attention to detail. Somehow their dancing is like making orange juice? Unreal. Wow, he's really trying to upstage Lil' C with the nonsense critique.