Evan and Randi follow that up with hip-hop, and I'm not holding my breath on this one. Let's hope they prove me wrong. Happily, Tabitha and Napoleon are choreographing the piece. Tabby tells them they're a young couple who just found out they're knocked up. Randi has a good laugh at that one. Because unplanned pregnancies are a real knee-slapper. Napoleon notes the intricate choreography, and Randi says this routine has the potential for disaster. At least she's self-aware. "Halo" by Beyoncé. Argyle hoodie by Evan. Oh, jeez... it's like kids from Stagedoor Manor are doing hip-hop. Lots of smiiiiiiiles! Are the moves there? Yes. Is there anything beyond that? Decidedly not. I heart these two, but the flashy tricks at the end don't even divert attention from the awkwardness. Especially when Randi shoves her crotch in Evan's face at the end. I know it's not fair, but I can't help imagining how amazing this routine would be if Joshua and Katee had done it. Sigh... I still have occasional palpitations over "No Air."
Nigel jokes about all the weirdo choreography this season and jokes that she shouldn't be doing all the lifts at the end if she's preggers. He compliments Tabitha & Napoleon for not demanding some sort of fabricated urban-ness from the most White Bread couple of all time. He loves these two moppets, but let's be honest: Yikes! Mary, like me, was expecting a train wreck. She faintly praises them, but does note that she specifically looked at Evan for screw-ups, and he didn't eff up. So... good job? Tyce compliments Tabitha & Napoleon's storytelling because he has very little positive to say about the actual dancers. And his vague commentary and swimming motions prove as much.
Next, Janette and Brandon will perform an Argentine Tango from Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo. Brandon looks around nervously and snickers as he describes the tango as "pure sex." He is understandably fidgety, considering he and Janette have yet to capture their intimacy. The fact that she and the choreographers speak primarily in Spanish, which he doesn't understand, is no help. Cue the music: "Libertango" from Forever Tango (Original Broadway Cast Album). Side note: No offense to Forever Tango, but it's like choreographers on this show don't realize that tango was made for more than 100 years before that damn show hit the boards. But I digress... The tango begins. It's as sultry as it should be, all entwined and such. The eye contact is fierce, and Brandon is definitely in the lead. Janette does a lift where she flicks her legs in a delightfully spritely manner. (Aren't you glad I took 20 years of dance before writing this recap so I can characterize intricate choreography in such a haphazard way?) Overall, it's completely professional and skillful, if not entirely my cup of tea.