So now the judges go away to deliberate, and we get Shakira. Fair trade? I dunno, I really like Adam. Anyway, Shakira delivers more of the overproduced nonsense that has characterized this last album of hers. I want to like you, girl! Quit sounding like an idiot. Anyway, nobody's face gets smooshed into anybody's crotch, which means it's not worth talking about.

When the judges return, they line the girls up first. Nigel says this decision was unanimous. He says Mollee's solo was evidence of her "fighting" to make the Top 10 (I...guess); he can't think of any way for Ellenore to improve beyond "making contact with this planet" (i.e. getting viewers to embrace her weird ass); and while acknowledging how hard ballroom solos are, he says Karen looked like she'd given up. Agreed, and I think she's looked that way all week. And thus, it's Karen who is leaving. She has that same frozen smile and lack of emotion on her face -- when did this happen to her? She used to feel things, right?

Now the guys. Nigel says the judges were NOT unanimous here. Oh really! Don't give me a glimmer of hope, Uncle Nigel, don't you do it. Nigel compares Victor's personal growth on the show to Kelly Osbourne on Dancing with the Stars and says his solo tonight was terrific. Ryan's also grown as a dancer, even if his solos have been unimpressive. Nathan (who looks as if he may barf) stands in contrast as the one guy who has not grown across these last five weeks. Sad to say this, but I agree. Nigel goes so far as to say that his own personal vote was for Nathan to go ... but he's staying and Victor's going. Aw, crap. Cat throws us to his video journey, where we're able to re-experience his awesome Mohawk, that remarkable Travis Wall routine with Bianca, and all the times Nigel said he grew "as a person" (seriously, was Victor throwing paste at the other dancers in Vegas?). I will miss you, you gorgeous dancer.

Joe R is officially demanding a Jakob/Ellenore pairing, sooner rather than later. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.