Now, nearly an hour in, we're on to only our fourth dance, with Jason and Caitlin. First they did Bollywood, which the judges loved, and which I think Jason did great, Caitlin did okay, they were 90% coordinated, and the judges thought it was the second coming. Next week was their atrocious hip-hop, and last week was their okay paso doble. They didn't like being in the bottom three two weeks in a row, and Jason thinks he only squeaked by -- do you think he was tipped off by the fact that when there were only two guys left, Nigel admitted it wasn't even a unanimous vote as to who goes home? This week, they get Brian Friedman, who is not wearing nearly enough giant jewels for me, but then he saves it by telling Caitlin that... she is an alien blew up earth and is finding the last man that she can procreate with. Oh, how I missed Brian's flavor of crazy last season! Caitlin has to be dominant and make Jason fear for his life, so this should be interesting. I've found Caitlin a lot blander than the judges have found her, so I'm curious to see how she does here. According to Brian, wait until we see how she impregnates him!
My friend actually exclaimed, "She looks like a dominatrix Statue of Liberty!" and she does, wrapped in pleather with a sideways tinfoil hat. They are dancing to "creator" by Santigold. He's in tattered clothes -- a bit reminiscent of last week's dancing for his life costume, and she is jumping around and trying to kill him or something. I don't even know how to describe this. She seems to do some things to sort of kill him and then put him under her power. She then starts maybe controlling him and he winds up writhing on the floor. I have literally no way to describe it. I like weird -- I loved the crash test dummies -- but this seemed less creative and more straight-up weird. Nigel makes jokes about Brian's weirdness, and then says that since it was weird they to commit to it, and they did. That's... good? He actually makes a crack about how she's got on too many clothes to impregnate him -- oh Nigel.... I hate the costumes too, but if you stopped making so many comments about how much skin each of the girls show then you might not be thought of as such a pervert. He actually says she looks like a dancing condom. In Britain, they must use different, spikier versions then we do here, I'm just saying. Mary thought it didn't play to their strengths and gave them credit for trying but she didn't like it. The crowd boos her, but I can't argue. Then Mia is up, and Cat reminds Mia that she is also known for going "there," if "there" equals "Crazytown." Mia guesses that Brian didn't do this thinking it was going to be the best piece of his career -- but the look on his face says that he's going to cut her for assuming so. She thinks he was aiming to have fun! It's refreshing to have something out there and fun! Wow Mia, instead of being skilled? I think this is as close to a full-on insult from one choreographer to another as we've ever gotten on this show. She then hates the foil and thinks it's cartoonish and continues to say that basically she didn't like it and thinks it's dumb but they went for it. I hope she has Brian watched afterward in case he should come after her with Caitlin's pointy headpiece because the murderous glint in his eye says she's definitely not safe in any dark hallways backstage.