We start off with a really dramatically-scored recap of the mass auditions up through last week -- reminding us, in case we'd forgotten, that they are desperately searching for content to fill this two hours since each couple is only doing one dance apiece. As they do their intro dances, Randi hasn't been able to resist going back to the unitard, accessorized tonight by a fedora. Dance, dance, dance, then Cat saunters out in an awesome pink satin prom dress with a studded belt. Look, I love Cat to what might be considered a mildly unhealthy level and I want nothing more than to be friends with her so we can go clothes shopping and get margaritas and gossip about boys. She looks amazing no matter what, but tonight she's especially rocking it. Man, it is painful how much they're letting people pause and talk and cheer to fill time. The judges this week are Nigel, Mary and Mia, who is already acting like a loon wearing shirt with a very tall a ruffled collar and with her hair styled into a little horn of sorts. Cat asks Mia who she likes this season and they take like, an entire freaking hour for her to laugh at the question, call it a setup, gasp, mug for the audience, etc. before she answers. Oh, I cannot wait until they get to more dancing and less mugging. Have her opinions changed about anybody? She calls it a setup. Everyone screams, and Mia doesn't name names but her opinion has changed for the better on Brandon. Nigel then actually asks if the person who she's talking about has the initials "Brandon," but Mia just calls it all enough said. Cat teases the dances that are coming as well as a special announcement.
Tonight's time filler is that the dancers are talking about how their last month on the show has been. You all have seen this before if you've, you know, watched the show. Brandon and Janette are up first. The foxtrot was gorgeous, next week was a fast disco and then they did hip-hop and she had to wear heels and boots. Seriously, this is all you could come up with? One of these two hours is entirely just recapping the previous shows. Brandon's dance teacher had 95 people over to her apparently giant house to watch last week's show and he claims she said she didn't know he could dance like that. As my friend said so succinctly: "Liar." This week they're doing a fast, sexy cha-cha with Jean-Marc and France. We have the necessary crotch-kick in rehearsal and a lot of shots of Janette falling, but seriously, this is her style so what do you want to bet it's going to be okay?