But then Cat says something happened this morning. Jessi felt weak, she couldn't breathe. She's being tended to in an ambulance. And the doctors have ordered her to rest. But it wouldn't be fair to Pasha (not to mention fans of annoyingly good-looking male specimens) to not let him dance, so he will be dancing.

"Let's Get Loud" by Jennifer Lopez is the music. Instead of dancing with Jessi, Pasha's dancing with Tony's assistant, who is…Bette Midler, apparently. He's great. He's always great. Everyone says "the show must go on" a bunch of times. Debbie blathers on about how great he was. Well, he was, I'll give her that. And she steals my Bette Midler joke, somehow, even though she couldn't see my laptop! Mary says he brought the house down, and she gives a mini-screech. At some point she yells, "You are hot, hot, hot!" Nigel totally buzz-kills everyone as he explains that the doctors are still doing tests on Jessi, because there's something irregular about her heart; if Pasha and Jessi are in the bottom three this week, they'll be dancing for their lives. If Jessi's not available to dance for her life, she'll be eliminated. The crowd is all, "Oooh." What, she should be safe? Well, then, maybe she should stay in hospital for the next several weeks, and automatically win! Grow up. If you want to boo, boo the fact that nobody felt it unwise to continue to refer to "dancing for their lives" after one of the competitors collapsed due to heart problems. Good grief.