Anya and Danny are up next. Anya grew up in Russia, and ballroom dancing was a "rite of passage," and she loved the beautiful costumes. Dance got Danny out of some unspecified trouble and brought him to the woman who adopted him. They had a great time with the jive last week. They're going to do the Viennese waltz, which according to Hunter Johnson, is a faster version of the slow waltz. Makes sense to me. Hunter wants sexiness, but more ‘50s old-fashioned sexy, not Anya's orgasmic hair-in-her-face sexy. So, naturally, they'll be dancing to "You and Me" by Lifehouse. Nothing says "old-fashioned '50s sexy" like effing LIFEHOUSE. I'd even prefer some more Pretenders. However, they're really good. Mia, in her continuing quest to qualify each couple as the best in some sort of aspect of attractiveness, says Anya is the "lady" of the competition, and Danny is the man. Mary opens her mouth, and my God, I cannot listen. She loved them. And then she screams at the end. Why do the people on this show pretend this is hilarious and enjoyable and non-cringe-inducing? Nigel calls it the routine of the night.

Shauna and Jimmy are up next. Hey, you know what wouldn't be boring at all? Yet another story about how a girl started dancing because of her mother. I think, if you asked me to name all the finalists off the top of my head, I'd remember everyone but Shauna, and this is even though I really liked her in their Wiz routine last week. You know who inspires her? So many people! None of whom are named! And also, she respects anyone in the industry who is doing what they love for a living. Fortunately, Jimmy's a little more interesting. He only took dancing in school for credit, because he needed a fine arts class, and his teacher recognized potential in him and pushed him.

They're dancing hip-hop with Dave Scott. He's going to add some stepping to his hip-hop moves, which he calls "aggressive" (remember, it's also "hard-hitting). Jimmy calls Shauna "gangster," which must be some dance term meaning "incredibly bland." "U Sexy Girl" by Fat Man Scoop feat. Elephant Man and Jabba. It's like hip-hop-calisthenics. Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri's cheerleader skits. They're in SYTYCD T-shirts, and Jimmy has on a SYTYCD hoodie. Suck-up. They're both really good dancers -- amazingly to me, Shauna seems like a much more interesting person when she's dancing when she's talking. Jimmy's just all around good. I thought the stepping interrupted the flow of the piece and wasn't as much fun as the rest of it, but I don't think I can dance. Mia says Jimmy seems to be jumping out of his skin all the time, which is a good thing, but Shauna's got "dance school syndrome" and really needs to go full-out. Mary loves them. I love my mute button, but I don't get to in time to prevent me hearing her say that they really "stepped it up." Nigel announces that he's going to use the "F-word," and Mary gasps in shock, which was totally not at all scripted, and the "F-word" turns out to be "fun."