It's dancin' time! Or ... well, apparently it's montage time, actually. Did you know that these dancers have families and hopes and dreams? Well, they do. And after the opening credits, they also have the now-traditional Unbalanced Gender Introductory Dance. Yes, all five of them. Wait, five? Oh, for the love of -- okay, who's injured this time?
Before we find out, Cat brags about this being the 150th episode of So You Think You Can Dance. And then she dissolves into giggles while introducing the four judges. We fill up some time with irrelevant vamping and posing by the judges, which no one at all cares about. And the surprise fourth judge is Kenny Ortega, the evil puppetmaster behind the High School Musical movies and Michael Jackson's This Is It. He also choreographed a lot of the 1980s: Dirty Dancing, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Newsies ... you've seen Newsies, right? Any tiny amount of excitement that would be generated by a guest judge is immediately destroyed by the news that Billy Bell will not be performing tonight.
Here's the Billy Situation. He hurt his knee and a couple of doctors pronounced him okay to dance. But Billy doesn't want to take the chance, so he's sitting in the audience with a sad face. As everyone knows by now, that means he's automatically in the bottom three this week and so on and so forth. Nigel segues smoothly out of the bad news to brag about their costume designer winning an Emmy. Oh, and Alex is in the audience too, and he seems to be in pretty good spirits. Nigel has a strained joke about combining this show with Survivor. I guess he has to try to make jokes because this season is just getting gutted.
Lauren and Twitch? I like the sound of that! Tabitha and Napoleon babbling about a Wild West routine? Well ... we'll see. Napoleon tries to get Lauren to act "bad" by quoting a Michael Jackson song. Then when the routine starts, they're dressed in tattered jeans and jackets and don't look particularly Old West. Lauren does a crazy-looking roll across the floor that, according to the rehearsal footage, is supposed to be reminiscent of a tumbleweed. It's not, but it does look cool. Most of the dance is kind of slow and silly. It ends with Lauren riding Twitch like a horsey, and Cat recommends a whip and some spurs. Adam is theatrically -- let's just say he's theatrically theatrical. He liked it, I guess. Then Mia makes herself and the other judges laugh by going "giddy-up, giddy-up". I can only hope Kenny Ortega has been brought in to talk sense, because we don't need another catchphrase machine. So what does Kenny have to say? First, he loves the show. Second, he loves the other judges. Third, he loves the show. Fourth, "Save a horse; ride a cowboy". Oh, lordy. The closest he comes to a critique is "funky, sexy, I loved the choreography." Nigel points out that Twitch is dripping with sweat, which is true. So how come Lauren looks so together? That's weird! Nigel also works in "bucc". Cat gives Twitch a horse-nicker as he leaves, then gives a wink to someone offstage. I'm going to pretend it was Adam, and that he and Cat have been talking about weirdo sex practices. This is how fanfic happens.