So You Think You Can Dance

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | Grade It Now!
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You Can't Ring My Bell

Six dancers enter. Two dancers leave. Who will it be? Let's let Cat Deeley and her crazy hot-pink dress tell us all about it!

The group routine features this show's twenty-seventh rendering of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, with Allison as Alice, being pushed to and fro in her chair atop the table. Lauren is absent, of course, as the group dances are filmed right after the performance shows are finished, and she was busy being treated for dehydration (as Cat will tell us in a moment). The movement is halting and alien enough to be a Sonya joint, but I'm guessing Wade Robson. Ah, but no, it's Mia Michaels, who tonight is wearing the most delightful fur vest. Faux, I'm sure.

After assuring us that Lauren is a-okay, and introducing the jidges, she kicks it to Nigel, who announces that the winner of the show will now also be featured in an ad campaign for Gatorade. He tries to make a big deal out of the fact that Gatorade is recognizing dance as a sport for the first time ever, but since I wasn't aware Gatorade was in the business of bestowing official sport-or-not-sport certification on anything, I think we're all at liberty to brush that off as marketing bullshit.

On to the results! Kent and Jose are called to the stage. Oooh, I wonder if they'll call all of last night's pairs out to find out their fate? Kent got mixed reactions to his cha-cha but big praise for his Broadway. Jose got called out by Nigel for his hip-hop, and while the judges glossed over his Broadway flaws, Nigel pretty much told him he's toast. And since Cat tells him he's Bottom 3 tonight, it kind of takes away some of the suspense, right? Which is why it was dumb for Nigel to say such a thing yesterday.

After the break, Billy and Adechike are called out. So I guess they're not doing the partners thing. Also, Billy is wearing a weird cravat of some kind? Like, the kind that Emma Pillsbury would covet? Fashion don't, Billy. Cat loves it, though, which makes sense. Billy was fucking amazing last night (that Rich Man, Poor Man really was astounding), while Adechike was good. At this stage, that difference should be glaring. Yet why am I expecting Billy to be the one dancing for his life?

Turns out... I'm right. God damn it. That means he's been bottom three EVERY WEEK since Top 9. That is, frankly, insane. I'm of the total belief that reality shows are self-justifying and that nobody deserves to get any farther than they get, but honestly. You get what you deserve sometimes, America. Billy's laughing, because at this point, what can he do? They don't get it. We've long passed the point where he can do anything about it.

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So You Think You Can Dance

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