So You Think You Can Dance

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | Grade It Now!
You Can't Ring My Bell

Last pair out is Lauren and Robert. The way things have gone this season, obviously Robert is Bottom 3. It's not like I don't get it. There was a glut of contempo dancers this season, and all the votes for male contemporary dancers have gone to Kent (and apparently Adechike, which isn't as understandable, but okay). You have to own your demographic to advance on these shows, and Robert and Billy just don't. Also, Lauren's fucking amazing, so I can't begrudge her one bit.

But no! Robert is safe! He does the exaggerated disbelief thing that's certainly his worst quality, but the guy's barely 20. I'm inclined to give him a break. So Lauren's in the Bottom 3, for the first time ever. Neither she nor Robert has any business going home at this point, and I can't see the judges getting rid of their only girl, especially when that girl is as talented as Lauren. So, uh, good look with those completely futile solos, boys!

After the break, it's time to rock your face off with filler, starting with the dancers from Step Up 3D. Sadly, I will not be able to recap this segment for you. If I have learned anything from Matthew Weiner, it's to be extremely vigilant -- to the point of obnoxiousness -- about spoilers. And nothing is going to ruin the majesty of this movie for me. I can tell you that the movie features Dance alums Twitch, Joshua, Ivan, Legacy, Ashlee, and Musa, and the performance tonight also features Tony Bellissimo (Buffalo represent!) and my beloved Lil' C. August 6th, people! I will see you there.

Okay, this next filler segment is really pushing it. Cat introduces him, and to the best of my knowledge, it sounds like he's called "Christian TV." [That is his name. And the song is about basically getting in a girls pants when she's of age. Confusing. - Angel] And like the cable networks that bear his name, I want no part of him. I'm not even doing that cooler-than-thou thing where I pretend not to know what a Justin Beiber is. I honestly don't know what this guy's deal is. Here's what I do know: he can't sing, and he looks like Benji Schwimmer and/or Lucky Spencer circa 1997. I guess he's supposed to be preppy-cute? I say he's allowed have a poofy fauxhawk OR a rat-tail, but not both. That's the extent of my opinion about Christian TV.

After a promo for National Dance Day (um, it's ALWAYS National Dance Day for me; don't tell me what to do, Uncle Nigel), it's time for solos. Which, again, mean nothing, because Lauren is so incredibly not leaving. Jose's breaking is a bit slowish, but it's a decent swan song. Billy goes high-concept again, like he did last night. This almost never works in the limited time frame of the solos, but he manages to deliver a quirky, focused routine that shows off his quality of movement while looking like it could have been choreographed by Sonya or Wade.

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So You Think You Can Dance




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