Janette and Evan are next doing a rumba with Tony and Melanie. As usual with Tony and Melanie, we hear about how this or that dance is very sensual, full of passion. Evan talks about how it's easier for Janette to pull off the sexy Latin thing. Janette says she's going to get the "inner Latino stallion" to come out of Evan. Good luck with that! Evan jokes that it's in there somewhere and will come out on stage.
They're dancing to the slow Kris Allen version of that "Heartless" song by Kanye West. The dance isn't great. I mean, Janette's great, but it looks to me like Evan's really labored. He actually staggers slightly doing one move, and it's clear he's not really able to fully let himself go. Way out of his element.
Nigel starts off by praising the choreography, and acknowledges that Janette's got the sexiness down, but he didn't see a whole lot of passion in Evan's drowsy, heavy-lidded face. "It was lacking a little bit for me," he says. Very little booing, because everyone knows that's true. And then Ellen spends five minutes talking about how great Evan's face is and he's a special guy, and she thinks Janette's incredible. Mary says she thought Evan did a good job and was there for Janette and mentions one lift where he threaded Janette's needle and spun her around. Then Mary does her beyond-annoying folksy voice when she talks about Janette and says Tony and Melanie brought out a lot in her, and then says "hot tamale" and then she and Ellen scream at each other for a little while. And then Nick Rhodes makes me want to shoot myself by blathering on about how special Evan is and not everyone has to be a sexpot and I don't think Nigel was calling the dude ugly or anything, and then Nick Rhodes says "we celebrate you" and I threw up right there and then Nick Rhodes undermines his whole "not everyone has to be sexy" premise by saying that Evan was sexy (albeit with a Zoolander face), and I'd like to point out that neither Nick Rhodes nor Ellen complimented Evan's actual dancing. Oh, and Janette was wonderful.
Melissa comes out and dances to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, so automatic A-plus. She doesn't really do much except wander back and forth with some twists and a couple of leaps. Well, at least she didn't do the "waking up in a coffee commercial" move.
Brandon and Jeanine are doing pop-jazz with a new choreographer Laurieann Gibson. "If I can help prepare the soldier, then the chance at victory is real," says Laurieann. Well, it's a good thing she accurately understands that dance is as serious as war. Shit, she even yells at Jeanine like Patton. "Heavy lies the head!" she screams.