They're dancing to Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield." Well, of course. Jeanine's dressed like she's in 10,000 B.C., but glitterier, and Brandon's dressed like he remembered to put on camouflage pants for the war, but forget his shirt but decided to go to war anyway. There is some punching hip-hop moves, and then they run around in a circle, and then there are dance moves that are out of '80s videos by Janet Jackson, and the routine is kind of boring, especially given how high an opinion Laurieann seems to have of the whole thing. Brandon lifts Jeanine through a flip at the end that was pretty good. They danced it well, but it didn't do anything for me.
The crowd loves it, and so does Nigel, and yells something about how they gave them exactly what they want. "It's finally begun this evening for me. Thank you! Hooray!" He says it was the flattest night he's ever seen on this show until now. Ellen says they make it look really appealing to join the armed forces with the costumes. She calls it unbelievable, and says there's "dancing" and then there's "da-a-ancing," and then there's "da-a-a-a-ANCING," which is what that was. Mary screams, and not just screams, but screams "Can you hear it?" a hundred times beforehand which at least gave the other judges time to plug their ears. Nick Rhodes starts talking about how Laurieann doesn't dance a step until it comes out of her soul which is why they're sisters or something, and then talks about how they were in a whole other place, and Brandon is such a powerhouse, and Jeanine is also "wow." She congratulates them and Laurieann.
Evan comes out to dance to some Jamie Cullum, which, if nothing else, takes him out of the cha-cha and into his old-school hat-doffing Broadway-leaping comfort zone.
After the commercial break, another solo routine, from Jeanine, dancing to "Let the Drummer Kick" by Citizen Cope. Kind of marionnetty, music-box dancery. Staccato movements. I liked it. It was different.
And then we're into Melissa and Ade, dancing a contemporary piece by Tyce Diorio. Melissa tells us this piece is about a woman who has breast cancer, and Tyce explains a friend has it. Ade explains it's very strong and powerful, so I imagine the distracting light blue afro pick hanging over his eyes is poking out in the most totally respectful way possible. Melissa says it's going to be hard, because it's not about their steps or how they're dancing, but about conveying a message. See, that's why it's not going to be hard for you, because if it's about the message, which is going to be, I imagine, breast cancer is a serious problem that affects hundreds of thousands of women and their families, it's hard to criticize that, isn't it? Besides, she's flat-out wrong -- they're still going to need to be good dancers. It's not like I could go out there, do the running man and shout, "Yo! Breast cancer's wack! On the real!" and expect the judges to applaud me. I shouldn't be so cynical ahead of time. I just know Diorio is a really good choreographer, so I can't imagine this is going to get another reaction but "that was the greatest dance or in fact any artistic work in the history of forever" like with Mia Michaels' routine for her father.