And we're going to close with Kayla and Jason doing a Shane Sparks routine. It's a hip-hop routine that's about how AIDS is bad, so get ready to cry. It's going to shed some light! No, actually, it's about Jason being a zombie and turning Kayla into a zombie mistress. When is Sparks going to do the damn Warriors routine I suggested? Still, you can't go wrong with zombies. "I think we are going to scare the pants off people," says Jason, which would mean Brandon would be completely nude. He wants people to cry and run away from their television sets. Is that all? All you need to do is pull out a train whistle and screech and yell nonsense about a hot tamale train.
The song is called "They're Everywhere." I've never been exactly secretive about my love of Shane Sparks routines, so I'm excited. Kayla's dressed in a schoolgirl outfit, albeit one with a cropped top that would get any girl expelled from Catholic school and likely excommunicated as well. Lot of dead-weight movement from Jason as he claws and kicks and punches at Kayla. Conversion complete, I think, they're in sync! I think it takes some guts to take on a zombie routine just a couple of weeks after Michael Jackson died, and it's completely original. Oh, wait, there's the conversion. Kayla collapses on the ground and Jason does a little zombie victory dance and then draws her up with his hands, and they zombie-dance around the stage. Love it, love it, love it. It ends with Jason lifting Kayla up by the neck (!) and then she's dead on the ground and he picks her up and lurches with her over to Cat.
Nigel likes the Michael Jackson-influenced dance and says it's great to have Shane Sparks on the show again. Shane claps. Yeah! It is great to have me back on the show! Nigel says he's been a little disappointed with the show's hip-hop this year, and then wonders if Kayla's grandparents, when they sent her off to dance lessons, envisioned her becoming a zombie mistress. He says this was fantastic.
Ellen says if they keep dancing like that, they'll have their own talk show someday. I don't get it, but everyone laughs. Isn't that kind of a slam? She loved it, and says she was trying to do that exact same routine during the break and they didn't help her. Mary says her "little puppy dog got bit by the rabies" so I am done with Mary for the night. Nick Rhodes says it was his favorite piece that Sparks has ever done. She loved the strangle-thing at the end, which she acknowledges might mean she's kind of sick. Agreed. After the recap, Cat says tomorrow night is their 100th episode. It is? Why haven't they said anything until now?