And now, time for results. Girls first, since the really controversial part of that elimination already happened. Mollee and Ellenore come front and center. Mollee looks scared out of her mind; Ellenore looks like she thinks she's going home. In fact, Mollee's going home. You guys, I am way sadder than I thought I'd be. Mollee holds it together for not-at-all seconds, holding onto Cat for dear life. The clip package shows a girl who actually did improve, just not in the "every week's an epiphany" way the judges made it seem like. By last night, she was one of my favorites. Best of all, SHE DANCED.

Now, the guys. Ryan and Legacy. This is a really easy call, right? Legacy's been amazing and surprising and malleable and a choreographer's dream. Ryan's been decent, cried about his wife, and allowed his man-bangs to get flat-ironed to his overly-tanned forehead. Cat has the verdict: "The contestant moving on to next week's finale is ... Ryan." Stupid call, America. Really stupid call. Legacy's video journey contains about half of the most memorable routines of the season and shows a shockingly diverse performer where there once was just a mediocre b-boy. Not a bad legacy to leave. That's right, I'm so mad it's making me hokey.

So we head into a bullshit finale, with two bullshit dancers, who ... okay, sorry, I can't keep this up. Ashleigh and Ryan are but two good dancers in a finale full of great dancers, and they're probably gonna split each other's votes besides. We'll see how it plays out next week. GO JAKOB!

Joe R has been exchanging angry text messages with anyone who will listen for the last hour. He will probably be over it by next week. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.