Look, it's not Ashleigh's fault that she didn't dance. She couldn't dance. I get that. But she was allowed to compete on a par with everyone else on a night when she didn't compete on a par with everyone else. It was an ill-timed injury, to be sure, and if it happened to Jakob, I would be thanking god for sympathy votes, but part of me would still feel like: you don't dance, you don't advance. And SHIT, now I'm Jesse Jackson.
Next, we get a performance by "Asia's #1 pop group, the Wondergirls." Okay! That happened!
Solos! I think Legacy's is different from last night's, and maybe Ellenore's is too? You guys, I am sorry. I don't know. They're both awesome, though, and deserving of making the finale. As is Mollee. As are Jakob, Kathryn, and Russell, who don't have to dance solos but are still finale-worthy. That is all. (Ryan's solo is desperate and embarrassing, by the way; Mollee's is typically impressive, if more herky-jerky than in weeks past.)
Then it's time for a performance by Kris Allen. Who I very much like. I kind of feel bad for him in that he's clearly the uncool one, compared to Adam Lambert (and he'll always be compared to Adam Lambert). I mean, it's not Kris's fault that he won Idol in a year when the culture decided that nothing was cooler than gay scream-goblins. Anyway, he's just as cute and talented as ever, and singing a fairly boring song but making it work.
And now, time for results. Girls first, since the really controversial part of that elimination already happened. Mollee and Ellenore come front and center. Mollee looks scared out of her mind; Ellenore looks like she thinks she's going home. In fact, Mollee's going home. You guys, I am way sadder than I thought I'd be. Mollee holds it together for not-at-all seconds, holding onto Cat for dear life. The clip package shows a girl who actually did improve, just not in the "every week's an epiphany" way the judges made it seem like. By last night, she was one of my favorites. Best of all, SHE DANCED.
Now, the guys. Ryan and Legacy. This is a really easy call, right? Legacy's been amazing and surprising and malleable and a choreographer's dream. Ryan's been decent, cried about his wife, and allowed his man-bangs to get flat-ironed to his overly-tanned forehead. Cat has the verdict: "The contestant moving on to next week's finale is ... Ryan." Stupid call, America. Really stupid call. Legacy's video journey contains about half of the most memorable routines of the season and shows a shockingly diverse performer where there once was just a mediocre b-boy. Not a bad legacy to leave. That's right, I'm so mad it's making me hokey.