You saw it all last night. Some of it was spectacular. Most of it was not. But now it's on to another op'nin', another show! The kids dance to "Seven Nation Army" by White Stripes. They appear in all their red-coated, beret-wearing glory. The clothing is somewhere between early '90s Michael Jackson and Rerun from What's Happening!! The moves are not entirely dissimilar, either. One of my favorite games at the beginning of every results show is to see whether I can guess who choreographed the routine before Cat reveals it. Given the music, my first guess was Sonya, but then I realized there wasn't nearly enough stamping around like someone who was just let out of the schizo ward, so my next inclination goes toward Tabitha & Napoleon. It's an out-of-character music choice for them, but beats have been added in to make it more dynamic, and the choreography has a lot of their trademark transitions between sharp and smooth. Phillip gets a nice little solo with his finger isolations, and Jason "ends" the dance by yanking a big fat wire from the speakers they've been dancing around.
The kids line up and salute Cat as she struts on stage. As suspected, Tabitha & Napoleon choreographed the routine. I heart NappyTabs. Cat reminds us of the rules that we've known for five and a half seasons now, then introduces the judges -- the "Snapalicious" Tyce Diorio, the screechorrendous Mary Murphy, and the highlightastic Nigel Lythgoe. Cat spills that it's Nigel's 60th birthday. He proudly declares "No botox!" Then snarks that he went to the shop, but Mary had been there first, and there wasn't any left. Bah-dum-bum. Cat asks Nigel about the show's rumored Michael Jackson special. He breaks the bad news that, despite all the choreographers' being on board (and imagine how amazing Wade would have been, given his HIStory with MJ), Sony wouldn't clear the music. I love how he just screwed them on national TV. Suck it, Sony!
Cat awkwardly moves on to Mary, asking how she feels about the judges taking a back seat in the elimination process as of next week. She says she has mixed emotions: She'll appreciate not having to make the tough decisions and is happy that voters will now have to bear the burden of rejection. On the other hand, she thinks the judges have done well so far. She and Cat agree that it's a close race and that there is no one person who stands out this season. Not sure I agree with that one, but for the sake of the show, I'll let it lie. Finally, Cat moves to Tyce and prompts him to talk about what a tough ride the dancers have had with the doubling up on choreography and the bruises. He gladly obliges, saying that they must be magicians and warriors. Then Cat makes fun of him for his weirdo orange juice simile last night. Oh, snap!