Melinda -- who's friends with old people, you know -- reveals her secret life as an actress, including a fairly significant role on As the World Turns, which is like the only soap I don't have a good working knowledge of, so I don't feel too bad about not knowing it. She gets Pasha, the lucky so-and-so, and they're assigned a jive with Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin. Melinda's assignment this week is to pretend to be in love with Pasha, to which even Melanie is like "DUHsville, right?" I'm not sure it's the loving or not loving of Pasha that's Melinda's problem, though. She's too upright for a jive, and her legs are not doing what they should be. There's just no spark here -- a well-executed jive should be fast and fun and kind of crazed, but Melinda's not quick enough on her feet. Nigel, working admirably to pick up the ballroom slack from Mary's absence (annoying though she could be, she knew her shit when it came to ballroom), straight-up pegs Melinda for Bottom 3. Mia points out the leg issues -- calling her possibly pigeon-toed -- and also a lack of sexiness. Adam echoes Cat's suggestion to watch the show back later and see what she did wrong. He says Melinda's good acting/entertaining skills masked some weak dancing.
Alex Wong plays the piano, you guys. Only makes him cuter. He's paired with Allison for a Sonya contemporary number that's all about salvation. Alex knows his main objective from here on out is to open himself up emotionally, for the judges and the voters. On stage, dancing to Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," which was bound to make it on here after American Idol went overboard with it this season. There's some great mirroring, and Alex totally floats through the air (I'm least familiar with Allison among all the all-stars but she's lovely as well) and is just so skilled. He's getting better at the emotional stuff, too, bit by bit. The judges? Well the judges go kind of apeshit. Mia and Adam are standing, Nigel's nearly in tears. Both Nigel and Mia call it the greatest thing on the show EVER, which is such outsized hyperbole that I wondered if it was a conscious ploy to score Sonya an Emmy nomination. He's "light years" ahead of everybody else in the competition! He single-handedly justified the all-stars concept! Like ... maybe calm down? Even if this WAS the greatest routine in the history of the show (it's so clearly not), how does it benefit Alex to put him on such a high pedestal so early? I really like him, and I thought he danced marvelously tonight, but way to make him into this year's Will Wingfield, you guys. Of course, after enduring all that hype, Alex mouths along to Cat's phone-number spiel and totally wins me over anew.