Into the results show! (Thanks to Lauren S for covering for a Canadian on his country's national holiday, which marks the day that, um, we invented beer or something.) Hey, wouldn't it be great if the opening number had something to do with Michael Jackson? What a great tribute it would be to dance to "Billie Jean" or even "Thriller," and ... oh, what? The Wiz? Why is this happening? I mean you don't have to recreate the zombie dance, because even Jennifer Garner can do that, but ... The Wiz? Why not just try to come up with a killer rat dance number for "Ben"?

Anyway, the dancers are all artfully posed within a huge frame, and the music informs us that the art gallery is now closed, which is I guess when the paintings all come to life and start pirouetting in skimpy feathered wear. There are lifts and spins and kicks and jetes and handclaps. Then the dnacers run through the picture frame, and they all shimmy and shake wave their arms and then jump back into the picture frame and the constant cuts by the camera are starting to give me a headache.

Cat comes out to welcome us all and to thank Tasty Oreo for the choreography, and then introduces the judges, featuring just as much Mia Michaels as last night, and then Cat gets right to it by bringing the first two couples out on stage. Karla and Vitolio did the quickstep. Nigel thought it was entertaining, Mary screamed, and Mia said Karla needs to keep her face as bright as her dress. Randi and Evan did a Broadway routine. Mary liked it, Nigel liked Randi but was disappointed in Evan, and Mia thought Randi was a little heavy.

Cat opens her envelope of doom, and Randi and Evan are safe, meaning Karla and Vitolio are in the bottom two. Nigel says it's sad that the competition means someone has to go home. Yes, it is unfortunate that that's what competition means.

Three more couples are on stage: Janette and Brandon did the cha-cha-cha, which Nigel called "possibly the best damn cha-cha" he has ever seen on this show, and had Mary screeching. They're safe, big surprise, and walk off the stage to hugs from Randi and Evan. Kayla and Kupono did a contemporary piece that the judges all loved. Meanwhile, Melissa and Ade did the classic Romeo and Juliet ballet routine that had the judges praising them, especially Melissa. To be fair, Melissa saw the debut performance of that ballet, so she had an advantage. The judges also spent as much time congratulating themselves for bestowing such a gift upon people who watch Fox. And it turns out Melissa and Ade are safe, while Kayla and Kupono are in the bottom three.