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Drivin' Your Green With My Three-Iron of Love

Back at the Caves I Named Something Last Week But I Can't Remember What, Hurley greets the Hunting Committee -- Locke and a new guy named Ethan -- who have trapped and killed a few wild suitcases. They explain that they found the luggage in the jungle. Hurley cracks open a bag while Walt sneaks over to Locke and asks him if he can come with him on his next hunting trip. Before Locke can answer, Mercutio hustles Walt back to bed. Meanwhile, Hurley finds something cool enough to warrant a "Dude!" in one of the bags, though, to be fair, Hurley deals out "Dude!"s so liberally, it could be, like, anything, from a hairbrush to the head of Stanislaus Grumman.

Back in the bunker -- which I'm going to call the State of Nature, for reasons that will later become apparent -- Sayid's getting another sip of Jolt, if you know what I mean. He finally gets fed up and explains that he's a survivor of a plane crash, and that he followed the cable into the jungle, and mentions the SOS of Doooooooom, and really expositions the hell out of this scene, mostly so that the woman who's interrogating him can reveal herself as the voice on the transmission, which she does. "Sixteen years," she says, stepping into the light. "Has it really been that long?" She has long stringy hair and an effectively sinewy look. "And you just happened to hear my distress call?" she asks, but apparently the question is rhetorical, as she then punches Sayid in the mouf.

Commercial. I'm falling behind, because I took a short break from recapping and checked out other channels, only to find some movie that appeared to feature Isabella Rossellini and Craig T. Nelson, set in the Middle Ages. I watched for a few minutes trying to figure out what this film was, but I'm pretty sure no such movie exists. (Update! I refuse to use the Interweb to help Sars locate specific recap links, but I will look up this movie. It turns out it does exist. It's from 1989, and it's called Red Riding Hood.) (Second update! Half an hour gone and I don't think I'm halfway through. Crapola. Must...push...harder. Must...resist...urge to digress!)

The State of Nature. Sayid wakes and reads his captor's name off a jacket hanging nearby: Rousseau. So Rousseau joins Locke as this show's clues that I should have paid closer attention in college philosophy. I eagerly await characters named Søren, Sun Tzu, and Plato. (Sars: I just don't have time to add the many funny jokes sure to ensue from these names. Also, I don't know anything about philosophy. Be a dear and add a bunch of hilarious lines to this paragraph. I don't mind if everyone thinks I wrote them, it's cool. Maybe Plato could live in a cave or whatever. That was Plato, right? Thanks oodles! Love, Dan Kwa. ["Dan Kwa: I took Philosophy 101 Pass-D-Fail. Sorry, dude." -- Sars]) Sayid asks if this is where the distress call is transmitted from, and Rousseau tells him that it comes from somewhere else. "But they control it now," she adds. Whoever "they" are, Rousseau believes Sayid to be one of them. She produces Sayid's mystery photograph and asks who the woman is; Sayid says her name is Nadia.

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