Sons of Anarchy
Call of Duty

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Meet the Real Walking Dead

And now, the shooting begins: SAMCRO and a few token Galindo folk have waylaid the Lobo Sonora at what is merely the first line of their compound. Everyone is going to have to head into a more remote part of the California scrub to get to the main encampment. As Romeo casually executes the Lobos that they've surprised, Kozik and Jax exchange "Can you believe this lunacy?" looks. Romeo announces that Luis is going to take a unit into the woods, while he'll protect them from the rocks. The Sons split up -- Chibs and Happy vow to hang with Jax, while Kozik and Juice are covering Clay -- and everyone heads into the woods to shoot the big bad Lobos. As Juice lags, he looks back at all the dead Mexicans, the blood seeping into the ground by their heads, and you can practically see the thought bubble reading, "Call of Duty did not adequately prepare me for this."

As Luis and Clay's group moves across a comparatively clear field, there is a click and a high whine and Clay says, "Shit. Stop. MINES!" The first one blows, and everyone hits the ground as the machine gun fire starts. We see Galindo soldiers dropping all over the place, then Kozik hunches forward and mutters, "You've got to be shitting me..." as the sick whine of a mine starts up. Then there is no more Kozik. Clay -- who is hunched to the ground in fighting position -- watches the explosion. Juice watches the fallout; Kozik's arm drops right next to him. Call of Duty did not prepare him for this at all.

Clay and Romeo's squad is pinned down in that minefield. The other squad is all, "Uh..." and really, the only choice they have is to use Luis's satellite phone to call for help. Or, as Jax says, "I'm ordering a pizza. A big, Irish pizza."

We're now at the Caracara studios, where we see Lyla outfitted like an even pornier version of the "...Baby One More Time" schoolgirl Britney Spears. (And they said it couldn't be done.) She's not happy to be talking to Opie, but she gamely gives up Georgie's whereabouts at Money Shot Studios. Sensing the awkwardness of the whole scene, Bobby Elvis and Tig wander off, presumably to try and figure out how the movie plans to deploy a dozen women dressed like naughty Catholic schoolgirls and a jungle gym. I swear, every visit to the Caracara studio has me convinced that whomever is responsible for the porn movies being set up in the background conceives of them using an old Mad Libs book or something. It is awesome and I hope it continues.

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Sons of Anarchy

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