Sons of Anarchy
Stolen Huffy

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
She Who Gets the Hair Frosting Shall Become Queen of SAMCRO

Jax and Chibs have found Emma. Using only a small amount of subterfuge, Jax manages to get Emma to open the door to him and he tells the john to go. (The john does. Amusingly, Chibs smacks his bottom as he runs out the door.) Jax then tells Emma what happened over at the Best Little Cathouse in Charming and that she's been fingered as the prime suspect for calling Vice. Emma protests that it wasn't her and Jax is all, "It doesn't really matter at this point, as nearly everyone on this show is prone to killing people based on half-baked assumptions. Time to get you out of town!"

Alas, just as Emma gets on the back of Jax's bike, the vatos pull up. Fiasco and Lupe assure Jax they can "take it from here," which is surely one of the more oblique euphemisms for "we'll murder a woman in cold blood" this show's trotted out and Jax replies by peeling out. And now, the episode's obligatory exciting chase scene set to loud music!

At one point, Emma's foot slips off the pedal and she burns her ankle on the exhaust pipe. Which, owwwwwwwwwch. (I spent a few years in the '90s dating guys with bikes and that happened to me once. I still have the scar.) It's enough to make Emma flinch, the bike bobbles and Jax ends up wiping out into someone's front yard, knocking over their bathtub Virgin Mary and everything.

Oh, good, it's a house where small children live with their mother! That will not make the alfresco confrontation between SAMCRO and the vatos freighted with awkwardness or anything! The vatos pull out their guns as they walk toward SAMCRO plus hooker, and so the SAMCRO boys draw in response and Jax hollers, "Not here! Not here!" Lupe drawls that they only want the girl, and that is when the mom whose yard is now being used as a parking lot comes out to see what all the fuss is about. Jax turns and waves her back inside, thereby demonstrating the leadership skills that explain why he gets to wear the president's patch. Oh, wait, Chibs is stepping up too: "Look around. I don't think we want to be doing this for an audience." Lupe and Fiasco develop an extremely prudent case of the stage fright and everyone puts away their guns. Fiasco tells Jax he's making a mistake and Jax bluffs, "This whore shit all over our club. Got my mom locked up. This is our get." Ah, but Lupe has some strategic concerns: they want to use Emma as a warning to any other would-be Vice squealers. Jax says, "Use us as your message. Tell your crew you sent the biker boys to do your bitch work." Chibs adds, "We all want the same thing here. No sense in us all killing each other over a piece of gash." Chibs, you silver-tongued devil, how you do go on. The vatos demand proof that SAMCRO will follow through on the killing; Fiasco says, "I want her thumb. And her tit." Jax asks, "Really?" and you can see the thought bubble appear reading, "How has this become my life?" Chibs gives a patently insincere smile, no doubt wondering how they're going to swing the thumb-and-tit job. As they take off, Jax whispers an apology to the family whose front yard he just wrecked with his drama.

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Sons of Anarchy

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