Sons of Anarchy
Stolen Huffy

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
She Who Gets the Hair Frosting Shall Become Queen of SAMCRO

Back at the clubhouse, Nero pulls up with Carla and acts all confuzzled about why Chibs and Jax are radiating irritation. Chibs explains: "Your boys showed up at the hotel the same time we did." Jax steps in: "Almost ended up in a 'hood slaughter. We convinced them that we'd finish her off --" "So what we need now is a digit and a tiny titty to prove it!" Chibs finishes. He seems especially outraged by that request. Nero seems taken aback by the vatos' new trophy-gathering hobby. Then he musters his wits and realizes that Carla must have set Lupe and Fiasco on SAMCRO. Carla nods and owns it like a boss, saying, "I was protecting you. If your crew found out what you did, they'd crush you. They'd ruin everything that we've built." Nero is all, "'We,' kemosabe?" Jax looks at his mom and says, "Sounds like a move someone else would pull. Let's call it even." Jax assigns Rat to Carla-watching duty -- presumably, this is what the patched-in members do when they can't hang with the sippy-cup set a la Filthy Phil -- and then turns around to get a face full of Gemma.

His mom demands to know why Emma's on the property and Jax tells her that's none of her business. Gemma huffs, "No, it's not. But it should be yours." Jax steps right into Gemma's personal space and says quietly, "You know what, Mom? I kind of have a few things on my plate today, like burying my best friend. So your need to be loved, worshipped and adored is a little low on my list today." He stalks off, and Gemma blinks because her brain has short-circuited. The man I'm having relations with isn't bowing to my every whim? I'm the last to know about major club news? My son isn't even pretending to placate me? Did I wake up in some alternate universe? That would explain so much.

Emma steps forward and chirps that nothing happened between her and Clay; all she did was give him a shoulder rub. She also reiterates that she didn't call the cops. Nero is all, "Welp, that's that! I gotta go get this girl out of town!" He gives Gemma's hand a quick squeeze -- something that does not elude Chibs' narrow-eyed notice -- and takes off with Emma. (Start the pool now on whether Nero actually does deliver her out of town or merely finishes her off himself. I will go on record with my crackpot theory: Nero wants out of the Best Little Cathouse in Charming and/or Carla, and he called Vice himself. And because Emma is a tad too believable, the only way suspicion does not blow back on Nero is if he kills Emma.) ANYWAY, Chibs is now tasked with asking the SAMCRO-friendly coroner if he can spare a thumb and a breast. I really feel for whatever Crow-eater is going to have to sleep with him to get the job done. (See also: Season 1, where Jax seduces a Crow-eater with the express purpose of whoring her out to the coroner.) Chibs sighs all, This is my life. Then he heads over to console Gemma: "You know he loves you more than anything, Mom. Just give him some room."

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