You'll get linear narrative in the recap, I promise. Here are the plot-by-plot play-by-plays to tide you over until then.
SAMCRO's growing pains: The boys vote in three new prospects who, frankly, make Pinto and Flounder from Animal House look like hardened cons. They also vote in Happy, who wants to quit being a nomad and become part of the SAMCRO chapter. But Kozik's request for transfer is blackballed by Tig -- there is bad blood between these two for unspecified reasons -- and the two end up brawling through the clubhouse. They do team up to murder someone later, so there may be hope for these two yet.
When you walk with the devil: Stahl hands Jax the statement Gemma should give, and in turn, Jax leans on his mom to memorize the finer points. Gemma turns in a beautiful performance, admitting to Polly's murder and fingering… Stahl's partner, Agent Tyler, as the dirty ATF agent who shot Edmond. Shocker of the night: It is heavily implied that Stahl's the one who sold her girlfriend up the river. But she's back on the Irish investigation, so she'll have her recovering career to keep her warm.
Fall of the Mayan empire: Most of the SAMCRO boys hijack one of the vans that was supposed to deliver heroin to the Stockton prison. Clay engineers a meetup with the Mayans and strikes a deal: Let the Grim Bastards do the heavy lifting on the heroin runs, and SAMCRO takes a $25,000 toll for each run. Other riders on the deal: SAMCRO kills the rat cooling his heels at St. How Does The Tiny Tax Base In Charming Afford The Hospital, the Lodi puppet club doesn't patch into the Mayans, and the head of the Mayans personally assures the Club's sugar daddy Elliott Oswald that the violence between SAMCRO and the Mayans is over. The upside to this: Oswald arranges passage to Belfast on a cargo shipment out of the Stockton airport.
"We were on a break!" Jax is having pangs of conscience when it comes to whether or not he's good for Tara, and Clay stomps those beneath the heel of his boot with, "She's a chick. Don't complicate it." He then goads Jax into asking Tara to unload their HIV protocol drugs for money, pointing out it's all for Abel. Jax reluctantly asks Tara -- you can tell he really doesn't want to -- and she sets up the deal for him. In a twist of fate seen only on intricately-plotted TV shows, white supremacist/nemesis Darby sees the deal closing. He then takes the intel straight to Hale the Lesser. And somehow, mere moments after that, the San Joaquin sheriffs get the urge to raid the SAMCRO clubhouse just in case they're hiding any drugs. Jax erroneously concludes that someone in on the deal narc'ed, and decides that, for Tara's sake, he had better dump her. Then he runs off to salve his broken heart by banging Ima the porn starlet. Here's hoping his inconvenient sperm don't knock this one up, too.
The SAMCRO boys are enjoying a Taster's Choice moment outside the clubhouse one morning when Bobby Elvis comes out to pee in their coffee: the $10,000 they sent to Serge's tracker in Vancouver is gone. There is apparently no "take-backsies" clause in the deals one makes with a bounty hunter. (And how would you enforce that anyway? Hire a second bounty hunter to track down the first?) Anyway, Opie does not take the news too well, what with it having been his bike that funded that $10,000 bad investment, and Chibs reminds everyone that this situation is actually worse than being out $10,000: "The money we made from the 'roods was in the bag the Mexicans stole from Idiot." Juice -- who knows that he's the answer when you solve the equation for the value of "idiot" winces. In short: this jaunt to the Emerald Isle is going to be very expensive and the club is broke as a joke.
Jax asks about the HIV protocol drugs, but Juice says there's no street value there. Clay piles on the misery by pointing out that "If we blow off that bail hearing this afternoon, we're on the ground. It's going to be a little hard to earn. Think maybe Tara can help us move those scrips?" Jax vetoes the idea. Clay points out, "She's your old lady --" "I don't care!" Jax shouts back. Everyone looks around all, Awwwwkward! and Opie tries to break the tension by asking where the club is in its plan to thwart the Mayans' new heroin run. Tig reveals this week's SAMCRO caper by pointing out the first Mayan run is scheduled to go out at 1 p.m. today. Piney's already thinking about how to take it down, which will not be easy since the Mayans are sticking to well-traveled main roads. Jax exhorts his biker brothers to think outside the box. And this is where you can tell the generational differences between the older guys who founded the club and the younger ones who will presumably carry it forward; one gets the feeling both Clay and John Teller would sooner eat their patches than embrace corporate-speak, and Jax is surprisingly fluent in it. He's going to start demanding that they identify action items and deliverables in church, isn't he?
The breakfast club breaks up because they have to go inside and take a vote on the five people who want into the SAMCRO chapter: Happy, three prospects, and Kozik. You will all remember that Tig really does not like Kozik, for reasons that have yet to be revealed. As everyone heads inside, Kozik pulls Tig aside and says, "I know, I know --" He knocks over a beer and rights it, and Tig contemptuously plugs the foamy bottle while asking, "What do you know?" Kozik says, "I'm not expecting you to be all right with this." "Good," Tig says, and walks off. Kozik rolls his eyes and continues, "I can be an asset to the charter. All right? I'm just asking you to give me a chance." Tig wheels around and looks at Kozik like he's something to be scraped off the bottom of his boot. "We done?" He asks.