Sons of Anarchy
To Be, Act 2

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B- | 1 USERS: A+
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Someone Found the “Multiple Undo” Command

Juice is in lockup, watching an episode of The Shield. This disappoints me greatly, because I've been sort of hoping that Sons of Anarchy took place in the same universe (much like the late, great Homicide: Life on the Street took place in the same TV universe as Law and Order) and now we have proof it does not. Roosevelt comes in and Juice shuts off his TV. He asks, "How many guys did they arrest?" Roosevelt gives Juice the good news -- the RICO thing went away thanks to the REWINDOMATIC -- and that Juice's parting gift is his jacket with all of his daddy-related data purged. Roosevelt tosses Juice the folder and says, "That is the only proof. I thought I'd give you the satisfaction of tearing it up." He turns to go and Juice asks, "Why are you doing this?" Roosevelt says, "You're a criminal. You do bad shit. I'm a cop. I stop you. I just wanna get back to that." Juice does too. The two part, if not on nodding terms, at least with a mutual understanding of what the other one is.

And now we zip to the council meeting where Hale the Lesser is about to get Charming Heights rubber-stamped by the gutless wonders on the city council. In the audience, Rita Roosevelt rolls her eyes. But right before the council can proceed to give Hale's proposal the lavish tonguebath it requires, Potter quietly enters the chambers. He's got a legal folder in one hand, a black duffel bag over his arm and a floppy latex doll, life-sized, of a little boy over his left shoulder.

Potter calls out, "Sorry, your excellence. Lincoln Potter, assistant U.S. attorney, San Joaquin County." The council head huffs, "What is this about? We're in the middle of a council meeting." Potter flops the child doll down on a table and says, "Moral bankruptcy, sir." He walks forward with his folder and says, "Jacob Hale has scraped the bottom of the barrel to fund Charming Heights, and he's dumping the sludge in your back yard!" With a dramatic flourish, Potter dumps out the duffel bag and all manner of tacky sex toys spill forth. The extras look appalled. Hale asks, "What the hell is this?" and Potter explains: "The Tokyo Fund, as it's called in the mayor's proposal, is actually a single investor: The Natsuki family, the largest manufacturer of sex dolls and hardcore sex paraphernalia in the world, including the Sumyung Boy line for the discerning pedophile." There is no way to spin that last sentence without coming off as a total creepster. Even serial killers who keep severed heads in self-storage facilities next to their collection of Slim Whitman records are all, "You don't have a latex doll thing or a kid thing, you have a latex kid doll thing? Oh my God, that's revolting."

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Sons of Anarchy

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