Night. Pledge house. Tim calls Nicole at around 1 AM. After having sex with Kristi, no doubt. Nicole practically rubs herself on the phone telling him to come over and that there are no sisters at the house. Way to play it cool, stupid. She lies to us and says that all her sisters are rooting for her. She then hangs up and dances and runs downstairs screaming, "Tim's coming over! Tim's coming over!"

She waits. He arrives. Brooke eats chips in his face. Maggie watches them go upstairs. Her mouth ajar. They go upstairs and sit crappily on a couch. She tells us she's hoping to get that kiss and they're not in public so there is no reason he shouldn't -- well, except for that fact that he hates you. Nicole immediately starts falling all over him, literally, doing stupid shit like trying to bite his ear and being stupid. So he just, like, came over to sit on a couch with her? "I want this kiss so bad," she tells us. She's on top of him, and he closes his eyes and turns away. Ha.

Later. They go downstairs. Front porch. They hug. She tells us she feels like she's going to get a kiss because it's the perfect opportunity. He tries to go. She tells us it's going to happen tonight because there is no better night than tonight. Huh? "It's going to be awesome," she says. And then, in slo-mo, she reaches in to kiss him, and he turns his giant face to the side. Hee. And that's it.

She goes inside. She camera-sucks, "I don't know why he hasn't kissed me yet. But it's making me like him even more." That right there, folks…I don't even know what to say about that. That represents everything wrong with everything. She should be stoned in the town square by all women. Tim drives off and Nicole stands at the window, waving.

On the next…Julia is getting a tattoo with "Jewels," her nickname, on it. But he spells it wrong. Ha! Julia could not be more tacky if she tried. Tim and his buddy call the house and ask Brooke if she and Melissa want to do to dinner. Oh my God. That's funny. Brooke tells us that Tim and Nicole's relationship is so screwed up and she doesn't understand why she has to be a part of it. I love Brooke and her laissez-faire approach to everything. "He's not asking her out on a date!" Nicole brats to Mackenzie. Goddamn, Nicole sucks. Bye!