Sorority Life
It's In His Kiss

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Ode To Episode Nine

We get shots of Nicole trying to pretty herself up and staring across the union at Tim, who open-mouth gawks at what a tool he is. He then tells his Other House of Sergio brother that he likes girls who are a challenge and doesn't like someone who is too much of a push-over. So, in other words, both Tim and Nicole like the same thing: people who don't like them. Very nice. Very healthy.

Buffalo. Buffalo. It's spirit week! Yay! Kids have a wing-eating contest. Oh, I get it. Because it's Buffalo Wings and we're in Buffalo. Congratulations, Buffalo! You're famous for something. Nicole camera-squawks that outside on a lawn there was a jousting ring set up, and she and Melissa went out and just happened to see Tim. "Stalked" is the verb you're looking for there, girl. Nicole tells us she signed up to joust with Tim because she thought it would be a little physical flirty thing she could do with him. Ha. How sad. They get onto these perches and hit at each other with these giant Q-Tips. The Editors Of Suck put it in fast motion and use sound effects to try to make it interesting. It fails. Nicole gets hit off her perch. She tells us that apparently Tim didn't think this was for "flirtyness." Aw. This is all so sad. Nicole loses again. She's frustrated that he's not holding back. Everyone is laughing at her. She then tells us she's getting worried that maybe she likes him a little more than he likes her. Noooooooo! Nicole then lies on the ground just staring at Tim. She looks a little like Hagar The Horrible. Is that mean of me to say? Yeah, probably.

Sigma Chai Latte. Tim and Nicole sit on the couch, having a terrible conversation about why Nicole is mad, and he gleefully brings up the fact that he's about to pick up some chick from the airport who is obviously flying in for a booty call. Man, he's mean. He loves rubbing Nicole's man-face in this shit. She camera-talks to us about Tim picking up "an old friend," and she says she's pissed that he's choosing this skank over her and she thinks maybe he's holding something back about her. Mmmmmmm, maybe. Just maybe. He tells her she's one of his best friends, and he met her at his "summer house." Uh, as opposed to his winter house? Tim offers to let Nicole meet her. Nicole is busy chewing her own hand off. "Yeah, that'd be cool," she says, spitting out a huge chunk of her thumb.

Night. Night. Buffalo. Buffalo. Someone walks a dog with a sweater. Pledge house. Front porch. Jason, Maggie's boyfriend, picks Maggie up onto his shoulders as she giggles and one of her breasts deflates. She camera-dims that she's been going out with him for a year, and she always goes out with older guys (he's twenty-six) because they know how to handle a relationship better. Uh, no, we don't. Now Maggie and Jason have a serious conversation. Maggie explains that he's bummed out that she chose to put her life on TV, and thus his life too; he didn't choose it, and that's what all their fights are about these days. Okay, that's understandable. He tells her not to think he's not hurt by it. Maggie says she doesn't understand why. He says MTV didn't need to "spray" his life out onto TV. She tells him not to make it worse than it is. Nothing could, honey.

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Sorority Life

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