Sorority Life
Jew Lez

Episode Report Card
Stee: B | Grade It Now!
Oh, Sorority Life. Nicole Lives The Sorority Dream.

Parking lot. Natalie walks away, done. Nicole calls Tim from her car, telling us, unbelievably, that in getting to know Tim she's come to realize that he might just be a "typical guy." Noooooooo! I can't believe Tim is answering the phone. Alex sits next to him. They're both sort of laughing the whole time. Nicole goes on about how it's cool that they wanted to hang with Brooke and Melissa, but she felt like she should have been included. Tim rolls his eyes. Nicole camera-insanes that Tim knows now that he's overstepped his bounds. Nicole goes on that if Tim wants to hang with the sisters, she should be there too.

Tim finally snaps and just says, "To be honest with you. It was going to be us four." Nicole asks if he's serious, and he says that he is and it would be fucked up if he lied. But then he says it was going to just be "as friends." Alex makes some "digging yourself deeper" motion. Nicole then -- and this is just so unbelievable, I'm sure it's a trick of editing, it has to be -- camera-talks that Tim explained that he was just trying to extend friendship to her friends. Ha. God. Hee. That's just…wow. Nicole goes on that Tim was not asking Brooke out because he's not like that. Now Nicole is telling him that she would have been weird about that. Tim says it's not happening now anyway…but he didn't want to lie to her or "lead [her] on." But of course she doesn't hear those so-important words. But now Nicole is saying something about "don't let it be Brooke." And Tim repeats it. Nicole says that it would be weird because she's her best friend. Wait, so maybe Nicole is admitting that he wants to date other girls. I guess that would be a start -- the whole truth being "anyone but you." So now Tim says, "Except for that one time you said you would like it if Brooke and I got it on." And it happens again! So I wasn't wrong earlier. Tim is saying he wants to fuck Brooke. And Nicole is hearing anything she can that means she's included -- and she fucking wills herself to hear Tim say that he wants to see her and Brooke get it on. That may be the number-one saddest delusion Nicole has had so far. So Alex and Tim are laughing, and Nicole is saying that it's Tim's fantasy, and then she camera-talks that every boy wants to see two girls get it on, and then she tells him all "sexy" that if he comes to the party, he'll see it. She promises. Now Nicole says to us that she's "joking" that if Tim comes to the formal dance, he might get to see her and Brooke "I don't know…whatever." She says to Tim, "At the semiformal day party, maybe your fantasy will come true." She goes on about how the open bar could really make people drunk and doing stuff. So Tim is happy, because he still thinks she's saying that he gets to fuck Brooke.

They hang up, and -- oh no, I'm wrong. Tim tells Alex that Nicole keeps saying she's going to "dyke it out with Brooke." Charming. He figured out what she meant at some point, obviously. Alex says Brooke would never do that. (Oh, really?) Tim then says Nicole wants him to go to the "friggin' formal" with her, and he lays his head on the desk. He's a fucking tool, but I feel just a tiny bit for him. "She's annoying!" Tim says about Nicole, how cool she was with everything just now. "If she was normal, she'd be ripping my balls off right now!" Okay, so maybe Nicole has fallen yet one level deeper in desperation. She's no longer even trying to say that Tim doesn't like other girls. But she's just being okay with it now, as long as she can be one of them. Which she can't, because he doesn't like her. God. I'm fucking exhausted. Luckily: commercials.

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Sorority Life




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