Sorority Life
Ready, Set, Pledge

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The First Cut Is The Deepest

Oops, I just forgot it again.

It's over, and the girls sort of lethargically "Woo!" and some sister half-heartedly sings, "You are now pledges," and it's all very awkward. Brooke tells us that she's not sure she's doing the right thing; she may be giving up a life that she likes. They blow out some candles, and we limp to commercials.

Buffalo. Buffalo. It's move-in day. MamaStacey shows the girls around and then camera-talks that six of the girls are moving in because they want them to bond as a pledge class. What about the other three girls? That's fucked up of them. The girls wander around. Julia tells us that it's the most beautiful house she's ever seen. They find the "one and only" phone. I hope that's a joke. Stacey is most excited to show them the kitchen. The girls all "ooh" and "ahh" over the fridge stocked with sodas. Mostly because there is no food in the fridge and thus they won't be tempted to do something silly like eat food.

Ass shots as the girls walk upstairs. Mackenzie tells us she loves the house and that she's never lived in anything but a dorm. How sad to be born in a dorm. Must have been a chaotic childhood. Full of alcohol and one-night stands. MamaStacey tells us she chose to put girls together that didn't know each other so well so that they could have a "bond." But she says the word in that accent that makes my skin crawl. "Baaahnd." Bleh.

Karissa moves in. She gets the single, MamaStacey says, because she's very big into her schoolwork. And they don't want her constant phone-masturbating to be an issue. Maggie and Brooke are in a double. There is only one dresser, they note. "We're screwed," they say. Maggie fans her gigantic boobies, telling us that of all the girls, she knew Brooke the least. Man, they're going to hate each other. She can't survive without Julia. What's she gonna do? Julia, Mackenzie, and Nicole are in a triple. Nicole tells us she's nervous because she doesn't know the girls that well. Shot way from the side, which is definitely her best angle, Nicole tells the girls that all her clothes are hung. Mackenzie needs a dresser, but a bigger one than they have. Julia camera-whores (I'm kidding -- she actually seems sorta cool here, except for the whole porn vibe) that Nicole is going to be a "challenge," because she and Mackenzie say what's on their minds.

For real, this house is pretty dope. My friend lived in a frat in Berkeley, and there was, literally, poo on the floor. In the living room. And no one cleaned it up. It was the most disgusting place I've ever been. Gorgeous on the outside, poo-floors on the inside.

Maggie tries to order all the girls out of the bathroom so she can pee. Karissa says that Maggie is take-charge and it could provide some tensions. Maggie tells Brooke which dresser drawers they'll each be using. Brooke just stares at the ceiling, telling us that she left her house with her friends (her fish, her lover) to move in with strangers and what has she gotten herself into?

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Sorority Life

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