Previously on...during Rush Week, Bonnie Hunt look-alike Brooke asks if the activities are things you "have to" do. The sisters get all Army on her and tell her it's more than just a job, it's a "lifestyle." I think Brooke already has a "lifestyle" she's chosen that works for her. She camera-Hunts that she's worried she's giving up a life she really likes. Yes, a life with goldfish and "roommates." We get to relive when Maggie tried to wake Brooke and Karissa up during the big DUI-The-Sisters'-Home Debacle of 2002. "Fuck that!" yells Maggie, during the Big Hallway Blow-Up, also of 2002. Brooke wonders how she's supposed to be close with people who she doesn't even like? Yeah, that's what families are for.
Buffalo. Buffalo. Old men playing chess. Buffalo. The student union. Talia camera-snots that the pledges are required to spend time in the union when they're not in classes in order to "bond" with the sisters. Wow, forced female bonding. I kind of like that. Meanwhile, Maggie gets her stank thong in a twist because Brooke is flitting around to other tables talking to her non-DZO friends. Maggie lies to Nicole that she has other friends. No, you don't. Nicole then camera-mans that Maggie cuts all ties to the outside world while Brooke doesn't feel she should have to ignore her friends. Sounds reasonable, n'est-ce pas? Non, according to Miss Maggie. Nicole, suddenly wearing a flat haircut, which is much better than the frizzle-disastizzle she normally sports. She tells Maggie that, well, Brooke has other friends. Hee. Maggie's Gigantic Boobies Of Hate then tell us that she doesn't care if it sucks, but everyone needs to be there and Brooke is "always missing in action."
Night. Pledge house. The girls are all gathered around making arts and crafts. "I'm doing my box," says one of the pledges. Heeeeee. Now, that's a show I would tune in for. Brittany's drunk ass makes herself a paddle. Nicole shows off her box. It's a pink box with her name written on it. That must have hurt. Brooke camera-talks that she's not trying to diss anyone or act "too cool," but there's more to life than arts and crafts. She tells the other pledges that she just "can't get into it right now." That's weird. I thought all lesbians enjoyed doing woodwork. (Kidding. Don't email me!) Brooke goes on -- in her very funny, dry delivery that I've grown to love so much, despite the horrible accent -- "Arts and crafts for me, is...it's just hard." Hee. Brooke tells us she just wants a night to have fun and be normal -- well, she really just wants to go to sleep, probably. She bails, going upstairs, as Maggie watches, with her normal wide-eyed, wide-mouthed, wide-boobied look of disgust and horror and personal offense.
Buffalo. Day. Brooke and her friends go for a big day out at the Outback Steakhouse. I guess she doesn't want to step all over Karissa's shit and bite on her Applebee's vibe. Brooke complains that she misses college -- that she doesn't feel like she's in it right now. She tells us that pledging is like being in high school, but with really strict parents. The girls all diss on the "sitting in the union together" thing. Brooke says that pledging is not fun and she can't wait for it to be over. One of the "roommates" tells Brooke that the "room" doesn't have the same "vibe" without her. Hee. She said "vibe."