Sorority Life
The Babbling Brooke

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | Grade It Now!
She's Leaving Home, Bye-Bye

Night. Club. It's called "Utopia." Seriously, no offense, but I don't think my idea of utopia would be a crap dance club in Buffalo. They should call this place "Eh, It'll Do For Now's." The sisters and the pledges are there dancing terribly. Nicole wears horrible sunglasses. We meet Karissa's lanky beanpole boyfriend, Justin from Cleveland. She breaks down the whole long-distance relationship thing, saying that it's hard, but then when you do see each other, it's "extra good." Yes, and then if neither of you cheats on the other person and you actually one day get to live in the same city, you'll realize that not all the time is "extra good" and that you never liked the person that much to begin with. But I'm sure it's different for Justin and Karissa. After all, they have God on their side. Dancing. Dancing. Brittany is already pretty much passed out. Julia lets some black dude fuck her from behind on the dance floor as Maggie starts wondering where Karissa has suddenly gone to. She then explains to us about the DUI debacle and how now it's Karissa's turn to drive the sisters, especially with Brooke gone.

Outside. Maggie is freaking out. Julia camera-whores that it's Karissa's night to be "DD." Sarah and Mackenzie and Julia stand around awkwardly as Maggie leaves a passive-aggressive message on Karissa's machine. Sarah then tells Maggie that Karissa is at Denny's with her boyfriend. (Sarah is jealous. About the Denny's, not the boyfriend.) Maggie instantly goes, "Excuse me while I throw up!" Heeeee. I freeze-framed it so her mouth is wide open and her eyes are closed and you can see the passive-aggressive spores flying out of her mouth, all the pain of her childhood and everyone teasing her because she got gigantic breasts when she was eleven -- you can see it all coming back at that one moment. It's beautiful. Maggie freaks more, and then says this gem: "I'm gonna throw up all over her fucking ugly face!" Yes! Awesome.

Pledge house. Day. On the front lawn, the pledges all discuss Karissa. Julia would only want Karissa there if she wants to be there. Huh? Karissa and Justin come walking up. Karissa is ready with her cell phone in hand. She immediately lies, "Maggie, did you leave a message last night?" Maggie says she did; she left two. Karissa lies, "Honestly, my phone did not ring." God hates you now, Karissa. Now more than ever. Maggie does her thing where she visibly tries to control her temper. Brittany slurs that some people get special treatment in the sorority, and she doesn't think it's fair…

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Sorority Life




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