Pledge meeting. MamaStacey and Janel and shit hand out pledge books, telling the girls to guard them with their lives, because they'll need them for some interview or some crap. MamaStacey adds that the sisters will try to steal the books, so the pledges can never leave them out of their sights. Ever. Mackenzie tells us how excited she is to earn her letters. Even Mackenzie has her eyebrows tweezed to shit. I'm all for grooming, but today's girls are just slightly more hardened, with all the painful hair removal. Yes, there is some innocence lost, with every bikini wax. And after a Brazilian: the girl's soul is half dead. Maggie tries to take notes around her gigantic bosoms.

Buffalo. Statues. Applebee's! Again! Paparissa and Brotherrissa are now there to find out why Karissa is such a rotten sinner. Paparissa asks what the girls have to offer Karissa. She answers: "Themselves." That's a terrible answer. Paparissa asks whether they have the same value systems and if they are Christians. Karissa says that some of the girls are, and that she's going to church with one on Sunday. Paparissa asks if the girls are going to be "true friends." Oh c'mon Paparissa, you can ask it: are these girls whores? That's what he wants to know. Paparissa gives a situational. He asks what if the girls are going on an "outing" (hee, how quaint. Like to the zoo!) and some stuff went on that she didn't agree with, what would she do? Karissa says that the girls went to a bar the other night and she went home. Karissa babbles nervously as Paparissa eats his cheesesteak and quietly judges and Brotherrissa gives a look like, "I hope we go home soon so I can smoke some of that crack I bought yesterday and masturbate to gay porn." Karissa babbles on that she thinks she'll find good friends there. Karissa camera-lies that her parents raised her right and they should trust her to do the right thing. Karissa asks Dad whether he hated any of his frat brothers. Dad says he thought some of them were weird. Karissa says, "Well, you were in an engineering fraternity." Hee.

Buffalo. Buffalo. Night. Pledge house. Janel is doing Maggie's "interview" that I don't understand, and Maggie leaves for a second and Janel grabs Maggie's pledge book. They wrestle, and Janel says she'll let it slide, but next time Maggie has to ask to leave the book unattended. Seriously, y'all. What the fuck? What pointless humiliating shit is this? (You know what's more humiliating? The fact that they have to keep wearing those fucking Greek101.com t-shirts. I hope Sergio is throwing them a couple of dollars for that shit. Applebee's ain't free, you know.) Now Maggie forgets her pledge book again, and Janel takes it. Janel tells us that when you get a pledge's book, you get to play a little game with them: "What will they do to get it back?" she smiles, as she sticks the book under her shirt. (Okay, now people. Accuse me of what you will, of being gross, but I'm not making this shit up.) Janel sits Maggie down on the bed and says, "Now, what are you going to do for me?" Dude. Maggie says, "What?" Janel thinks...but then just tells her to make her a picture of a Greek letter. Oh, c'mon! Sergio, step in here. Do something. Crap. How boring. And as Janel is telling her what colors to use and Maggie's whining and Janel's bitching about Maggie disrespecting her with attitude, Brooke looks over from her priss-bed and says, "I feel like this is high school. Or not even. Like, middle school. Like, what am I doing here?" Commercials.