Sorority Life
Timeo And Nicoliet

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God Is Mad

The girls have to take a weekly quiz on the history of the DZO. MamaStacey reads the questions off. "Name the thirteen founding sisters." A cameraman now gets right in Mackenzie's boobs. Good work again. As the next question comes, MamaStacey, camera-talking and looking rather nice this time, says that it's her job to educate the pledges, or some such bullshit. Next question. Spike's turn. "List your pledge sisters." Spike looks high. Maybe Brittany sold her some doob. Maggie tells us that she was annoyed with Brooke and Karissa, so she left them off the list of her pledge sisters. Oooooh. Shit. I don't know much about reality television, but I have a sense that's going to come into play somehow later!

Buffalo. Buffalo. Buffalo. Night. Sorority house. The sisters meet. MamaStacey tells the girls that Brooke is back, and she doesn't care how anyone feels about it (read: Maggie), but it's her job to get them through this. She explains about the question on the test and then says how Maggie's Gigantic Boobies Of Hate left Karissa and Brooke off. Someone asks if she scribbled their names out and MamaStacey gets way more hyped than necessary. She yells, "No, like, she did not add their names at all." The funny part is, after she yells that, Stacey is all winded. She has to breathe two or three times really hard just to catch up. Hee. MamaStacey then camera-bitches to us about how it's not Maggie's call who gets into the sorority. All the girls yell about how, even when they themselves hated each other, they came together for the good of the common goal. And what is that, exactly? Keep this institution alive long enough so that you can find a new group of girls to humiliate and try to run their lives…so they in turn can find another group of girls to humiliate and run their lives. It's a snake chomping its own head. Ask yourselves this, ladies: To what end? To what end? MamaStacey comes back to how Maggie said she doesn't want to be their sister"s" and might leave if they make it in. Tiffany Whatever says, "Wait. Now she's giving us an ultimatum?" Colleen, cold chillin' and happily stuffed full of pizza and wings, says, "How can we punish these girls for what they're doing?" See, Maggie. You're fucking yourself, and not in the fun way. Commercials.

House. MamaStacey calls the pledges. Julia answers, caught posting her personal ad on www.playaswholikewhitegirls.com. MamaStacey tells them they all have to come to the sister house -- everyone, no excuses. "Guys. I think we're in trouble," Julia yells.

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Sorority Life

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