Sorority Life

Episode Report Card
Stee: B- | 519 USERS: B-
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Purple Haze

Kitchen. Now Maggie, suck-butt that she is, runs into the kitchen and tells Mackenzie and that other girl that Julia is pissed because Nicole and Brooke have said they'll yell the date out on-camera, hoping to build their hazing case. Mackenzie camera-talks that if the wrong person hears Brooke talking about hazing, that could "threa-en" the whole sorority. "They have to shut the fuck up," says Mackenzie. Maggie licks something off her finger and walks out of the room. I'd rather not know what that was, because I saw no food in sight. Commercials. Finally.

Back. Buffalo. Buffalo. Parking meters. Student union. The girls sit around. Talia calls them all outside for a meeting. Talia camera-snots that one of the pledges ratted to the sisters about the "hazing" talk. Uh-oh. Amy's thirty-two-year-old self stands in front of the pledges and says, "Are you being hazed?" Oh, Jesus. Grow up. All the pledges say no. Amy goes on, trying to talk all tough, that everything they say gets back to them, and if they keep talking like this, they're going to get them into trouble. Amy camera-talks the definition of hazing, and then says that one way they ensure they won't be busted is by taking part in everything themselves. So stupid. Brooke says she doesn't know what hazing is, and then Amy totally fucking busts her by saying she knows they looked it up on the internet. Brooke asks if they're not allowed to look it up, and Amy rolls her eyes, and Talia explains that it's fine if she does because they're not hazing them. Brooke is the only one standing up and saying anything here. Everyone else sucks.

Amy is really pissed, and she starts quoting them back about how they're "fatigued" so they're being hazed. Her Twin Horns of Evil begin to grow and coil around the table, she's so mad, as she says that the sorority they worked so hard to build for fifteen years will no longer exist. Fifteen years! I knew Amy was old. Janel, needing a mud mask real bad, says something about how they'll not hesitate to disaffiliate any pledge who fucks with them. It's here that MTV fucks up, or the Boys With Avids I talked about two weeks ago fuck up, and the sound and picture don't totally match from here on out, getting worse on worse. Brooke asks the girls to tell her if they think she was the one who said it. The girl has balls. (Maybe literally?) She then camera-talks about how she doesn't think she ever said that -- that she and Nicole joke about it -- but she asked Talia to tell her straight out if it was her, because if someone has a problem with her, they should say it to her face. Amy bitches that if it was you, you'd know, and then laughs. Amy bitches more, and Talia says she doesn't appreciate being "threa-ened." What is she, Ad Rock? Brooke keeps talking, and Amy says, "It's from very reliable sources and we're not stupid, put it that way." God. Amy is a bitch. And she's about forty-seven.

Sorority Life

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