Sorority Life
You Dirty Rat

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
Purple Haze

Previously on...Brooke bailed and then came back. What? That was, like, six months ago. Jeez. Maggie camera-bags that she doesn't trust Brooke. Mackenzie tells Brooke that she'll need to regain their trust. Brooke says duh. I say yawn. I break out a family-size pack of Skittles just to get through the next few hours of my life.

Buffalo. Buffalo. Pledge Week #5. Hockey rink. Maggie explains that they're going to a hockey game this week because it's Sister Darci's event. Yikes. Darci sorta look like she has a CGI face. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it's evocative, no? Julia keeps yelling, "You suck!" to a player. Brittany yells that she got kicked out of the penalty box. Yeah, she probably tried to hot-box it, not realizing there was no top. Players fight. Julia yells. Brooke and Nicole looks bored. Nicole explains that it's Darci's boyfriend who is playing -- and who Julia keeps insulting, I think. Julia, looking like she got an audition for the part of Teen Runaway Turned Nervous Porn Actress Turned Ultra-Jaded Porn Actress in some Showtime movie, tells us that after the game everyone is going to this nightclub Quote, but she doesn't want to because she really has to just go and do homework. In other words, don't Quote her on that. (I know. Boo! Sorry.)

Nicole calls her sister Natalie and bitches that they now have to go out after already going to the mandatory hockey game. Nicole camera-sucks that she really doesn't feel like going out and she thinks it's all very blah blah blah man-face-cakes. At the videogame area, Nicole bitches as Maggie shovels a bag of Doritos into her face, her Gigantic Boobies of Hate requiring sustenance. Brittany, high on PCP and sipping lemon vodka she's poured into a sixteen-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew, tells Nicole that Nicole has to go -- while she, Brittany, has a test. (I hope it's not a drug test.) Nicole explains to us that Julia and Brittany already got out of Quote because they told the sisters they have homework; she doesn't buy it, and she's pissed.

Quote. Dance floor. Julia rubs her back on Maggie, trying to rub her terrible misspelled tattoo off. Nicole keeps bitching, but I've pretty much learned to tune her out. Like Tim. And Natalie. And the whole state of New York. Brooke sorta dances, because like everything in her life, she doesn't fully commit to it. Amy's Twin Horns of Evil stick even farther out of her head, digging the music. More bitching. More bitching. Spike and Amy make out in the corner…or they're just hugging. Either one. Spike camera-mousses that she can't believe the girls made it so obvious they didn't want to be there, and then says something that makes no sense about "where will they want to be when they're sisters?" Probably back on MTV when at least being in DZO meant a tiny bit of notoriety, and not just the sucky fact of being in a crap non-sanctioned sorority in Buffalo.

Day. Buffalo. Buffalo. Ducks. House. Maggie and Brooke gigglingly look at something in the kitchen. ExpoBrooke explains to us that Sister Laura left some notebook at the house with lists of all the sorority agendas; the book revealed that their initiation is to be on the 25th of the month, next week. But she doesn't think that's actually then going to happen -- she thinks maybe they're trying to trick them by leaving the book.

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Sorority Life




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