Sorority Life
You Dirty Rat

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
Purple Haze

Night. DZO house. Talia sucks a balloon-full of helium and then bitches that everything that's said in the sister house is somehow getting back to the pledges. Everyone looks around suspiciously. No one looks to the cameramen, who happen to be standing all around. Hi, Lafonya! They bitch about the events they knew about, and Laura sheepishly camera-Jabbas that she accidentally misplaced her book at the pledge house with all the October events in it. MamaStacey explains that they don't have to initiate them yet, as long as they stop pledge events. Amy's Twin Horns of Evil propose moving it back indefinitely. Talia camera-mucuses that they're pushing it back because they want it to be a surprise for the girls. I love that these lame-o bitches are punishing the girls for their own fuck-up. Unfair. I'm going to call the national chapter and…oh, yeah. They're not even a real sorority. Never mind.

Pledge house. Brooke and Maggie tell Nicole about initiation and that she can't tell anyone. She camera-talks that she's nervous that they have the notebook, because maybe the sisters planted it to see if they'd snoop. Brooke says as long as the sisters don't know they know, then…ah, who cares.

MamaStacey, in a punitive mood, says that she wants to just keep pushing and pushing the date back until the girls are truly surprised. A) Stupid plan, because they're just going to keep anticipating it. And B) it ain't their fault that someone in your midst has some ship-sinking lips. MamaStacey, wearing some black flamenco dress for her first night as margarita-shooter girl at the Buffalo Hooters, says that them knowing the date of their initiation is "the absolute worst thing that could ever happen." Yeah. Knowing your initiation date, then the Holocaust. MamaStacey says she's going to try to find out how the pledges found out. Yeah, and O.J. is really close to finding the killer. The sisters vote on whether or not to fuck over the girls. They decide to do it. Good for them. Commercials.

Aw. Look at that. A new Road Rules is starting and I don't have to watch. Hallelujah.

Pledge house. The girls sit in the kitchen. Maggie reveals that the sisters told them that pledging is going to go on now for yet another four weeks. Maggie thinks they're trying to scare the girls and find out who's really willing to go the distance. Nicole kicks Brooke off her Hotmail account to go check the law sites -- she finds out that New York state law limits pledging to six weeks, or it's considered hazing. What a fucking stupid rule. If you want badly enough to be in a house, I say you take what's coming to you! Now, this way, no one has the good stories like they used to when they could make you drink each other's puke. Ah, the good ol' days. Maggie jokes about the hazing thing. Brooke says she gives a thumbs-up to the guy who made that rule. Julia shovels macaroni into her mouth like Wagner hasn't fed her in days. Or the poison from the rusty tattoo needle is finally destroying her internal organs.

Buffalo. Buffalo. Halloween decorations. Cat. The sisters give the pledges the lowdown on what will be their second scavenger hunt. The sisters tell them that if someone approaches them asking if they're in a sorority, they are to deny it. MamaStacey lies that a scavenger hunt is a fun event. She gives them a six-page list with stuff they have to take pictures of themselves with. The girls marvel at how long the list is. Some stuff they'll have to bring back, but they're not to pay for anything. The sisters talk about how fun this is, lying that because they're doing it again, it must be fun! Or they just have nothing to do that night. The sisters all suck on juice boxes like they're X-ing, which they probably are, knowing they have to do another stupid scavenger hunt. The pledges have to get their list done before the sisters finish theirs. It's noon. They drive off.

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Sorority Life




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