Sorority Life
You Dirty Rat

Episode Report Card
Stee: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Purple Haze

Montage. Montage. A dog barks. Nicole barks too. I didn't just make that up. All the girls are wearing crowns, by the way. The sisters take a picture of something, and then of themselves riding a fake cow. The pledges lie in the street, and then gather around a U at B sign. "I want to sit on it," says one of the girls. The other: "I want to stand in the hole." I can't make this up, people. Julia then camera-porns that Nicole and Brooke are not taking the hunt seriously, and they need to, "because [they're] going to be doing this forever." Huh? Well, that's a terrible fate. To scavenger hunt until you die. Coming back from doing something at some house, Brooke snottily says that she thinks this is supposed to be fun, and everyone doesn't need to freak out so much. The girls run across the street, squealing. Brooke runs to Maggie and says, "Sorry, Maggie. Don't be mad, Maggie," in a funny voice.

One of the girls says that she would never do this again if she were a sister. "Hell no." They drive. Princess Brooke is sitting shotgun. Of course. Nicole says she has a feeling that the sisters aren't even doing it -- but then we get of shot of them Jackass-ing in a shopping cart, proving that they are.

I guess at Smegma Chai. Julia makes a boy strip to his underwear so they can take a photo of him. Brooke makes sure she's nowhere near him when he does. Otherwise, she might accidentally catch a glimpse of a penis. Oh, no -- that was the sisters, actually. Can't tell crap sorority girls apart these days.

3 PM. A mall. Brooke camera-snots that everyone needs to not be so obnoxious -- Julia yelling, "I got someone for Worst Dressed!" Hee. I can't believe she yelled that. That's just fucked up. Julia is now talking about "Sluttiest Girl" and doesn't, for some reason, turn the camera directly on herself. She then yells about "Biggest Hair." Nicole then asks Julia if she can not yell, and Brooke requests that they not make a scene and yell things out. Brooke goes, "Can we have a little class here? Like, a little?" Julia turns and looks back, confused. Hee. Brittany, having just snorted an ounce of crystal meth, grabs a sign from a counter. Nicole tells her to at least hide it under her shirt. Brooke then camera-above-it-alls that she's embarrassed during the scavenger hunt.

Uh-oh. A guard is walking with the girls, and Maggie says that they're getting arrested! Hee! The guards makes them turn the cameras off.

The Graphic of Stupid reveals: "The pledges are detained by mall security." That's awesome. Brooke looks all freaked out. Brooke argues with Maggie about how unimportant it is to wear the stupid crown now, and Brooke says that if the sisters walked by she'd say that they got them into this mess, and Julia reminds the losing-it Brooke that she should say that they got themselves into it.

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Sorority Life

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