Sorry…I Blew It

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The Champagne And The Challenge Spaz

Previously on The Wiener And The Damage Done: Rupert continued trying to be King Fish Guy, only to find that the fish were not interested in being accomplices to his crazy scheme. Stupid uncooperative fish. Over at Mogo Mogo, however, the fish were more Zen about the whole thing, and were only too happy to hop aboard Lex's Food Chain Bullet Train and be shoved into the maws of the hungry tribe members. Shii Ann asked Colby to explain his objections to her inert strategy, and she was very offended when he responded to this by, of all things, explaining his objections to her inert strategy. At Chapera, Rob and Amber went out and formed an alliance with Rupert and Jenna, which seemed at this point a little like the Yankees going to a lot of trouble to obtain the backup catcher for the Montreal Expos. In more controversial news, the more Sue thought about Hatch rubbing his naked dick against her without her consent, the more she kind of thought she didn't like it. By the time she got to the reward challenge, she had concluded she really, really didn't like it, and she unleashed her full complement of rage. Despite the fact that Hatch had already been dispatched by Mogo Mogo, Sue was too far gone to go on, so she cashed in her chips and headed for home. Kathy thought the whole thing was kind of funny, but then later, she realized it wasn't funny at all, because Sue had been really, really unfair to Kathy by expressing her feelings like that. Feelings are for babies, as you know. The reward challenge went on as scheduled, and Mogo Mogo took home a meaty reward. The members of Chapera promised that they would all be best friends forever, even after camp, and they would totally write each other letters and come back next summer. Nothing brings people together like gorp and lanyards. Who will be voted off tonight?

Credits. Oh, look. Contestants. I find that I don't miss anyone who's gone, and I don't care a lot about anyone who's left. It's really not a good sign.

Day 19 dawns at Mogo Mogo, and several birds wake up and try to pick the evil and unpleasantness from last week out of their feathers. You can almost hear them chirping, "Ew-ew-ew ew-ew-ew-ew." Kathy and Shii Ann discuss the sunrise and how pretty it is, which is supposed to convey to you that they never complain. They're just hanging out, enjoying the conditions. Because when you think "appreciation for the simple, lovely things of the universe," you probably think, "Shii Ann," don't you? Inside the shelter, Jerri yawns and stretches as she wakes up. She grimaces and says to Lex that her back hurts. Shii Ann gives Kathy this look like, "I cannot believe she said that." Jerri comments to Lex that the bugs were biting pretty badly in the night. Shii Ann turns to Kathy and whispers, "She just bitches all day long." And the evidence is pretty overwhelming, provided that by "all day long," you mean "for the first thirty seconds after she first wakes up." Shii Ann continues: "I know every single thought in her brain because it's coming out of her mouth." So sayeth Shii Ann, queen of choosing her words carefully. In an interview, Shii Ann complains about Jerri's saying that she couldn't sleep the previous night on the "rack" floor of the shelter, and if she's talking about what we just saw Jerri saying, she was first of all talking to Lex, who appears to be her friend, meaning that it's really none of Shii Ann's damn buttinsky business what she was saying. If you don't want to hear people talk to their friends, you could try, I don't know, not eavesdropping. I know it seems crazy, but it might work. Furthermore, I hardly think your general obligation to keep a positive attitude means that if you get twisted into a pretzel overnight and wake up with a wretched backache, you're not allowed to turn to a friend and say, "Ow." Kathy interviews that Jerri "doesn't have a huge work ethic." "A huge work ethic"? Like a work ethic that's seven feet tall? Whatever. Kathy is working the rather unusual combination, by the way, of a pink swimsuit and an orange knit cap, so I would say that Kathy, among other things, doesn't have a huge fashion sense. She goes on to complain in her interview that Jerri is "the bad seed" on the team. She then corrects this to "an annoying seed." Kathy sure is showing off the eloquence with which she is fast becoming associated. "I know [Jerri] drives Colby up the ying-yang," she finishes, meaning that every single damn thing she said in that interview officially made not one lick of sense, either grammatically or logically. "Huge work ethic," "annoying seed," and "driven up the ying-yang," all in one interview. Nice.

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