Lost
S.O.S.

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Make sure your sign doesn't read

Bernard stomps on up and excitedly asks Hurley what he's doing right now. "Uh, talking to your wife," say Hurley, like he thinks it might be a trick question. It could be because Bernard has that attitude like your dad would have on the weekend where he's all excited because he's got a job for you to do, and it's mowing the lawn or whatever, and he thinks that if he acts all excited about it, you'll be all excited too and drop the basketball and say, "Oh, I get to mow the lawn? Is it Christmas in July?" Sure enough, Bernard asks him to get Libby and meet him at the edge of the tree line, and also to get Jin and Sun, and Jenkins, whoever that is, and "that Frogurt guy, the guy who used to sell frozen yogurt," and Hurley says that guy is "Neil," whoever that is, and Craig, whoever that is, and anyone else who Hurley can get, whoever they are. Rose asks Bernard what he's up to, and he winks at her and says he's got an idea. And he goes off to accost a couple of extras who are standing in the background. And the really weird thing is I've been thinking about this now during the scene, that I'm thirty years old and I wish our townhouse had a front lawn I could mow. Lousy dad.

Down the hatch, Jack's getting ready to go, and Ana-Lucia's standing around looking all glum, which I know is hard to believe, and she says she doesn't think trading people is the Others' "thing," and Jack says, "Talking is getting us nowhere," and I guess he means talking to Faux Henry, since it's not like they're talking to the Others. Ana-Lucia asks if he wants her to come along, and he pointedly looks over to the computer room, where Locke is either still working on his black-light map, or a diabolical-level sudoku. "You need to stay here," says Jack. So she hands him her gun. "You need it more than I do," she says, and maybe she could deliver her lines with just a little emotion. Then she says he should do himself a favour and not go alone. He says "all right." Yeah, maybe take a soldier or two from that alleged "army" that you guys are training that we never actually see.

Sawyer and Kate are playing in a tide pool or something on the beach, so I guess she likes him again. She's, I don't know, digging mussels out? Who cares? He's just watching her, and making fun of how that's "four in the last half-hour" and he should call "the Guinness Book," so she finally asks him if he's going to help, because if not she's got "better things to do," as if. I think he should call the Guinness people, because how hilarious would it be when they get the new edition and look for Kate in there and instead find a new entry for "world's biggest asshole"?

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Lost

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