Sports Night
Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A- | 1273 USERS: B-
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Bells And A Siren

In her office, Dana is lighting up a cigarette, presumably because she's nervous. Where's your messiah now, Dana? Natalie calls, "Dana?" from well outside her office, which is obviously to give Dana enough time to frantically search for some place to hide her cigarette. She doesn't have an ashtray, so of course the cigarette goes in her wastebasket, which is filled with many half-crumpled pieces of paper. Gee, I wonder where this is going. Natalie comes in to tell her she's back from her interview. Then Natalie tells Dana her garbage can is on fire. Dana scurries about and Natalie calmly tosses her a bottle of water in maybe the first non-product placement use of a beverage in television history. Dana asks Natalie how her interview went. Natalie says she totally tanked. "Yeah?" says Dana, a little too pleased. Natalie recounts everything the gang said would work against her. Dana interrupts the charade to tell her "Trey Curtis" called from SNL and told Dana that Natalie "killed," and that he couldn't believe she turned down the job they offered her there on the spot (as if) with a twenty per cent increase in salary (as if). Natalie gives a speech about being here since the first show and blah blah blah and she believes she's a big part. Dana tells Natalie she doesn't do a good job of showing Natalie how much she respects her. Natalie says she does.

In the newsroom, the show is three minutes to air. Everyone (including the Tertiary Characters, but not the Lesser Tertiary Characters) gathers at Jeremy's desk to see if there's any news on the Internet yet. This all-important Web site still just says "stand by," I guess. Natalie and Dana walk in, and Natalie explains that the smell of smoke -- responsible for Chris's only lines this week -- is the result of Dana lighting her office on fire. Casey explains that Jeremy "hacked into this amazing thing, it's a Web site about television. It has a bunch of funny and talented writers posting hilarious and snarky recaps of television shows. Also, it has some jerk recapping our little show." Actually, what he says is a bunch of stuff like "real-time business update" and "technologically calibrated" and a bunch of stuff, when all Jeremy actually did was log onto CSC's Web site. Casey calls Jeremy a "magician" and it was pretty funny. Dana tries to hustle everyone to the set, but suddenly something happens on the screen. Jeremy says "wow" and everyone crowds in for a closer look. "We're for sale?" says Dana. Of course, the fire alarms go off right at that exact moment and Casey has to check with Jeremy to make sure those are indeed just fire alarms. Then they shut off. And no one says anything. And slightly ominous music plays. Natalie says, "Let's worry about it in an hour," and the hustle and bustle of the newsroom returns to normal. The show ends with a close-up of Dana looking worriedly at the computer.

Sports Night

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