Sports Night
Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 1003 USERS: C+
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Speaking of Celebr-titties, we go back to the bar where Jeremy and Jenny are getting more tipsy. Jenny is attempting to imitate the intro to Sports Night. Jeremy complains that she didn't "acknowledge the comma" after "good evening" and she says, "You want me to doff my cap?" and Jeremy says it wouldn't kill her and Jenny says, "I don't have a cap," and Jeremy says, "Then you'll have to doff something else" like GO JEREMY. Then Jenny asks, "What did you have in mind?" and Jeremy freezes up, and Jenny senses his hesitation and says "uh-oh" for taking it to the next level. Jeremy explains that he's not very good at these things and that girls pretty much have to smack him in the head and give him a sign and I have to say I do identify with Jeremy here, since if I were in his place, even if Jenny came home with me, ripped all her clothes off and tucked her legs behind her neck, I'd still be thinking to myself, "This girl is pretty cute, maybe if I play my cards right, she'll give me her phone number." Jeremy does point out that there are some areas in which he's an expert, like sports, so Jenny wants to know how many home runs Ken Griffey hit in '97, and Jeremy annoyingly points out that Ken Griffey didn't hit any but that his son Ken Griffey Jr. hit fifty-six. Jenny disagrees and says he hit fifty-four. They argue (not seriously, flirtatiously). Jeremy says he's got some kind of sports book across the street. Jenny says she isn't going anywhere. Jeremy gets up. Don't go, Jeremy! There is a beautiful woman who finds your dorkiness charming sitting across from you and who suggested doffing something. Do not leave. Repeat after me: "I produce Sports Night. You are right, Jenny, Ken Griffey hit fifty-four home runs in 1997." But most important, stay there! No! Don't go! Don't -- damn. Jeremy leaves.

Back in the office, Dan and Casey are spending their time-out listening to Isaac moan about how he can't come up with the song "What the Dilly-yo in Glocca Morra" or whatever that was called. Then he shifts gears and reveals that he forgot his grandson's name this morning, just for a moment: "But it seemed longer than that." Dan says his dad used to yell upstairs at the kids and went through a Rolodex of names, which my Dad always did too, and of course, smug little brats that my brother and sister and I were, if Dad didn't call the right name, we wouldn't come down, until my Dad would roar, "Whatever the hell your name is, GET DOWN HERE." Isaac leaves and is barely, if at all, out of earshot when Dan comments that "it's when he gets tired." Then Casey is about to break the news to Dan about the list when Jeremy comes in to get the sports book. Casey invites him to stay and play but Jeremy thinks it would be better for Natalie if he didn't. Casey won't let him leave with the book, like, learn to trust your friends, Casey. Dan calls him on that and says, "Do you know how anal you are about your books?" but Casey isn't having it and counters with, "I know that Natalie's got your manhood stuffed inside a Prada bag," and I tried to count the number of times the word "manhood" was used on this episode but the batteries in my calculator burned out. Jeremy says he'll make a copy. Dan and Casey go back to the game after Casey makes sure Dan knows they need to talk later.

Sports Night

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