Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!

Back in the bar, Jenny has augmented the parallelogram. When Jeremy comes in, Jenny wants to know what took him so long. Jeremy looks awkward; Jenny snatches the paper from his hand and is disappointed to learn that Jeremy was right. Jeremy doesn't say much and Jenny says, "You figured out how you recognized me," which Jeremy admits. Jenny gives him a half-joking "you really shouldn't watch those kinds of movies, Jeremy," and Jeremy gets all defensive and claims that sometimes he gets home late at night after the show and the movies are just there on Channel 35. I'm pretty sure Jeremy would have to ask for that channel in his cable package, I mean, I don't think cable companies package porn with TBS and the Discovery Channel. ["Not that you’d have any reason to know this, but in Manhattan, Channel 35 is a public-access channel, and at night it broadcasts Robin Byrd’s show and a bunch of extremely explicit ads for 900 numbers. It is pretty shocking, though; I mean, kids can watch it, it comes with basic cable. So, snaps to the SN writers for nailing that detail, but again, unless you live here, you wouldn’t know that, or even believe it. Carry on." -- Sars] Anyway, Jenny says it's okay to enjoy the movies, that's why she makes them. Wow. Such a humanist! Jeremy says, "You're very good." Jenny invites Jeremy out with her and her friends to a party. Jeremy wonders why she's talking to him when there are "a lot of guys in this bar, there are a lot of guys in this city." My theory, Jeremy Goodwin, is that she has worked her way down to the Gs. Jenny thinks about it and grabs a coaster and starts writing. Then she smacks Jeremy in the head and gives him the coaster (explaining that Jeremy said he needs to be smacked in the head and given a sign). The coaster reads: "I think you're cute and I've had fun talking to you and I'd like you to ask me out." Aw. Jenny's sweet. Jeremy says it's flattering but "I can't." Jenny asks if he had fun talking to her and Jeremy admits he did, and Jenny says his reluctance now is because he knows what she does for a living. Jeremy says his point is that he is nothing like the people she associates with, which I thought was pretty judgmental, even given that Jenny's a porn star. Jenny calls him on how he doesn't know anything about the people she associates with. Jeremy says he's seen the movies, and Jenny says those are the people she works with. She says that a little too nonchalantly for my taste. I work with people too, but no one bends over when I enter a room. Anyway, Jenny wants to know in what ways Jeremy is different and Jeremy says, "Well, anatomically, for sure," and Jenny says, "Thank God for that." Ugh. Jenny repeats her invitation to come out with her, Jeremy demurs. Jenny says, "No one is going to take their penis out and hit you in the head with it." THANKS SO MUCH FOR THAT MENTAL IMAGE, JENNY. Jeremy says, "Thank God for that!" Then he says, "It's just not my world," and he claims he's not making a judgment, but he is, and Jenny busts him on it and says, "This whole thing is your world," blah blah blah Jeremy isn't in her world either, but she tried talking to him because she doesn't ordinarily get to meet guys like him, and she really wants to. She bitches out Jeremy for a while about either his fear or some misconception he has that he can't be seen in daylight with her, and I dozed off, because it's like Jeremy is getting a whole breakup lecture from a girl he hasn't even done anything with, and Jenny says, "I know you like to talk to me and I know you like to look at me," and she says she hopes his reluctance is due to fear and not "the other thing," because "the other thing" is really pathetic, and I think the other thing is his misconception he can't be seen in public with her, but I could be wrong, because I think fear would be a part of that too, but I tuned her out long ago as I usually do when I receive a lecture on my character flaws, like, shut up already, Jenny. Then she gets up to leave and tells Jeremy she has a Web site where he can look at her where he's more comfortable. Jenny is being a little judgmental herself towards a guy who simply is having a bit of a problem with the fact that she has sex on film for money. It's pretty easy for me to talk a good game from the safety of my little recap here, but I'd have problems with it too. Do I have sympathy for someone who makes porno films and then whines about how it's tough to meet people who aren't in the porn industry? Not really. Go on Jerry Springer already, Jenny. Reveal your shocking secret. Still, she is pretty cute.

Back to Celebrities. Dan starts laughing and says, "This is it," and starts patting his stomach, like who even cares about the stupid signal anymore, and of course Casey can't remember it either and Dan starts yelling at him and Isaac says, "I got it!" and Dan gets excited, but of course Isaac means he remembered the lyrics to that stupid song, and he starts reciting them, so maybe it is a real song. Who knows? Or cares? Everybody but Dan and I, it appears, since everybody applauds. Then Dan starts in again with the stomach-patting but still Casey doesn't get it, and Dan finally says "he's an Israeli violinist" and Casey says "Yehudi Menuhin!" so they get one lousy point before time runs out. They take a break and Casey asks to talk to Dan so they go into their office. Casey breaks the news to him about the Top 100 list and that "you're not on it." "What else is new?" says Dan. "I am on it," says Casey. Dan congratulates Casey and puts on this false "I don't care" attitude and says Casey should have been higher than 92. Casey tells him it's okay to be pissed. "Thanks for your permission," says Dan. Ouch. Casey says he's sorry and Dan says it's okay, since he was running out of plotlines to tell his therapist about. Jeremy comes in and he feels like he's interrupting something. Casey says this has to stop, "we're with you on this," blah blah, bunch of crap about solidarity or something, "it's wrong to think there are two sides on this," which Jeremy accepts. He says he just wants to sit on the couch for a bit since he's been having a "bit of a night." Dan and Casey leave to get back to the game. Casey asks if Dan's okay. Dan says he is. Casey of course wants to know if Dan meant it when he said Casey should be higher than 92. Dan says he did. Casey says if he could trade his 92 for Dan not making the list at all, he would. Aw. That was really nice. Rectangle Head's not so bad. They go back to the game as the end of show music starts playing and the camera pulls back so we can see the gang playing the game and Jeremy at the same time, who's sitting and getting all the answers: Marco Polo. Jimi Hendrix. e.e. cummings. Andy Warhol. Lenny Bruce. Henry David Thoreau. Josephine Baker. Jeremy looks really sad. Go home and watch some porn, my friend.

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Sports Night




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