Sports Night
Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 624 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Cliff Gardner

This is Sam's cue to walk in, saying, "Hey." "Good evening," says Dana, colder than a mother-in-law's love. "Show seems a little stiff tonight, don't you think?" says Sam. Dana agrees, and the word "stiff" is used about five hundred more times. "You know why?" asks Sam. "'Cause you're freaking everyone out?" says Natalie. "Could be," says Sam. "Know what I'd do if I were you?" says Sam, walking behind Dana and Natalie. "Kill myself?" says Dana. I can't figure out if she wants to kill herself or she wants Sam to kill himself or what. "No, I'd whisper in their ear," he says. Dan and Casey having one ear between the two of them, I guess. "I beg your pardon?" says Dana. "The two of you, whisper something in their ear," says Sam. "What are you talking about?" says Dana. "Men like the sound of a woman whispering in their ear. They get playful," which I admit is true, when what's being whispered is something cool like, "Breakfast's ready." The suggestion doesn't impress Dana, who says, "Why don't we just get 'em a lap dance?" Sam says, deadpan, "Nah, we don't have that kind of time, but I like your thinking." Ha ha! Smiling a little, Sam repeats his suggestion that she whisper in their ears. "I'm not whispering in their ear; Natalie's not whispering in their ear," she snaps. Kim starts to volunteer, team player that she is, but Dana cuts her off. "Kim's not whispering in their ear," says Dana. Then she goes off about how Sam always gets what he wants, and they've been very cooperative, but in the control room she runs the show and she'll deal with things. Sam says, "Okay." The show goes to commercial. Dana takes off her headset and says, "Excuse me," and gets up.

At the desk, Dan says, "I believe we're about to get a pep talk." Casey, all morose, says, "Yep." Dana strides out onto the set and says, "I've seen brighter performances by inmates -- you mind telling me what the hell's going on?" like if this doesn't pep up the show, I don't know what will. Dan starts to say something, but Dana says, "I don't want to hear about it. This show's supposed to be fun, you guys sound like you're giving stock quotes. Is there a reason I should be aware of?" Now it's Casey's turn to try to say something, only to get cut off by Dana's Motivation with a Vengeance. We see Sam walk onto the set. "Don't give me your excuses," continues Dana. "We've got eighteen minutes of show left. What I'd like is for you guys to start earning your money. Do you have anything to say?" and Casey says, "Yeah..." but of course Dana doesn't really want to hear it and says, "Good!" and turns and walks away, having dispensed three brimming bowlfuls of Liver and Onions for the Soul. Casey makes a tight-lipped face and looks around, and I think he might be constipated.

Sports Night

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