Back from commercials, Dana hangs up the phone in her office. "They're coming here." From somewhere off-camera, Natalie's disembodied voice comes floating in. "When?" "Eight o'clock." Comprehension from Natalie: "They want to give notes." "Yep." Natalie starts to get her back up, but Dana cuts her off: "They're very serious about it." "Who's coming?" asks Natalie, "J.J. and the boys?" Wait, I'm confused now. Are The Suits coming, or did Dana arrange for some strippers? Dana says yes. "Good!" says Natalie, getting to her feet, "'cause they're qualified to tell us how to write and run a television show, given their many years of experience neither writing nor producing a television show." Wait. I'm confused again. To me, that would indicate they are in fact not qualified to...ohhhhh. "What do you want from me, Natalie, we work for a network," says Dana, and she's obviously biting her tongue, but she's also doing this weird thing with her eyebrows like she's trying to signal to Natalie that the room might be bugged. "How did this happen?" squeals Natalie, meaning Sam Donovan, The Suits coming in, the whole thing. I don't know why she's screeching at Dana, who Natalie must know would agree with her. But also because Dana looks perilously close to snapping right now. Natalie continues to screech; Dana gives her head a shake and says, sort-of-calmly, "We are getting our asses kicked by ESPN and Fox." I knew it! Don't forget TSN! Woo! I am Canadian! WOO! Natalie says the show is only three years old and that every show on the network is in third place. "It's a third-place network!" says Natalie. Well, with such shining ambition, it's a mystery to me why they can't beef up the ratings. "It doesn't mean we weren't doing the show well," says Natalie. Speaking in the past tense. Very telling. Dana says, "Isaac had a stroke," whatever that has to with anything, like blame the ratings on a guy having a stroke, real nice. Natalie says, "I know that, so what?" cranking up her screechy factor another notch and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and I just got my hair cut so I'm like a bristly little hedgehog right now. "I'm doing the best I can," says Dana. "No one's blaming you," says Natalie. Well, no, Natalie, unless we count you berating her non-stop just now, but it's too late because Dana pops. "Everybody's blaming me!" she yells. Natalie stands transfixed in the face of Dana's fury. "Knowing me as you do, Natalie, I thought you might consider cutting me some slack!" How very annoying for me to be on Dana's side for once. Dana relaxes and leans back in her chair. She says that if this keeps up she has to look seriously at some offers. Natalie wiggles her ass back over to the couch and says, "Well, you're not leaving me here." As if Dana couldn't possibly think of a million reasons not to bring along Natalie's winning personality. "You're taking me with you, Dana." "Of course," says Dana, and I think she means it, except she's not even looking at Natalie, so I bet she's thinking, "As if, BEE-YOTCH." Natalie reads that loud and clear and repeats, "You're taking me with you." So Dana finally looks at her and says, "I'm taking you with me," and even almost smiles.
"Jeremy has to come too," says Natalie, all pushy again. Dana frowns but says, "Fine." "And you're not going to be happy unless Casey's there," says Natalie, without even mentioning that Dana has already told Casey he's got to consider other offers of his own for six months. Sexy offers, that is! "Casey can come," concedes Dana. You see where this is going. Dan comes too. Neither of these two mention the TCs, who I would love to see on air. Kim and Elliot hosting the show, dig it. Ratings bonanza. "Nobody's blaming you," says Natalie again, since it was such a crowd-pleaser last time. But Dana doesn't spaz, she just gets up and says, "We've got a rundown meeting," and they exit.