Sports Night
Dear Louise

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Geez Louise

As the show starts, Dan is teasing championship billiards at 1 a.m., a match between two players (and I have no idea if the ones Dan mentions are real or not, but knowing Sorkin they probably are) of whom Dan says, "When those two get together, it's a barn burner," in that tone of voice he reserves for soccer and other sports that Dan considers too marginal to deserve the respect accorded to football, baseball, and basketball. And I really don't understand or appreciate Dan's wit in these situations, because if he's attempting to encourage people to watch more programming on his stations, he might want to try being a little more sincere, because all he's really doing is pissing off real billiard fans. Not that I am one, understand; that shit is boring. Next, Casey closes with an inane comment about how if the viewers had half as much fun watching the show as they had making it, "well, then, we've had twice as much fun doing the show as you've had watching it." He does this in his trademark deadpan, which is accompanied by that freaky chilling stare he does, possessed by him and stalkers in television movies. And judging from what we've seen, there's a term for people who only have half as much fun as this show: clinically depressed. I got dumped by a girl once, went home, and listened to the Cure's "Disintegration" album for six hours straight. That was more fun than this. Then I went out with my friends, got a little drunk, and picked up another girl. That was more fun. And classy!

In the control room, Dana says, "Nice show, everybody," which is nice, even if it reminded me of that annoying voice-over the credits for Dateline NBC that says, "Nice job, everyone," like, who are they kidding?

At the desk, Dan wants Casey to come out to a bar called "El Perro Fumando," which Casey helpfully translates as "The Smoking Dog." Casey wants to know why he should go. I was going to make a snide comment about how apparently Dan's friendship isn't a good enough reason for Casey, but I suppose I'd be wary of a bar called "El Perro Fumando" too. Danny says if you wear something blue, you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita. Casey says he makes a good living, and he can wear what he wants and pay full price. I guess it's like that old truism: if you have to ask how much the giant blue margarita costs, you can't afford it. Dan says it's not so much the "economic upside" that's cool, but the chance to drink something giant and blue. This fails to sway Casey. Much as I think Casey is a jerk and a wet blanket and all, I can't see myself getting worked up about this either. Likewise, it's not so much the economic upside, but the fact that there comes a time in every guy's life when drinking a giant blue margarita just isn't a thrill. For most guys, that time is when you are born. Danny and Casey start walking and talking, and Dan convinces Casey by telling him Dana's going to be there: "You know what that means." "'Boogie Shoes'!" says Casey, and Dan starts "singing" "Boogie Shoes," and Casey starts "dancing." Jeremy walks into the fray, and they invite him to come along. Casey says, "If Dana gets half a margarita in her there's a better than even chance she'll get up on a table and start dancing to 'Boogie Shoes,'" as they enter the newsroom. Dana, from the other side of the newsroom, says she only did that once. Now the gang gets into a discussion about whether El Perro Fumando is "The Smoking Dog" or "The Flaming Dog." Casey says it's not "The Flaming Dog" because "the dog's not gay." Dana calls him on his subtle homophobia by saying she meant flaming as in the dog is on fire. And now we get a whole sub-argument with Kim and Elliot, who can't agree on whether the dog is smoking a cigar or a pipe (Casey having said the dog is smoking a cigarette). Is this building properly ventilated? These people are seriously fucked up, I mean it. "I say he's gay," chimes in Dan. God help me if I even need to argue about the smoking object of choice of a stupid dog in a stupidly named bar, but if the discussion were also to circle around the dog's sexual orientation, I think I'd be agreeing with the guy excited about drinking the giant blue margaritas.

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Sports Night

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