Back from commercial, close-up of Dana twiddling a pen in her fingers, asking Casey, "You like it?" "Yes." "Really?" "It's very nice." Casey's a little distracted, though: "Elliot, are you telling me the ice cleared, the goalies came out of the net and they just started going after each other?" and Elliot says, "Yeah, threw the gloves off and everything!" and this makes no sense to me, because any game I've ever seen where the goalies wind up fighting, it's because there's a full-scale riot already going on and the ice does not clear for a fight in hockey, because that would mean all the players on the ice get off when there's a fight, which does not happen. If anything, players spill off the ice bench onto the ice, hence the term "bench-clearing brawl," although that doesn't happen anymore since it's an automatic suspension to leave the bench for a fight. Dana asks again if Casey really likes it, and he says yes. Back to Elliot: "They threw their gloves off?" "Yes." "And we didn't have any film on this?" Elliot shakes his head. "Technically?" says Kim. "It's just one glove." "How is it one glove?" asks Casey. "Goalies wear one glove and one catcher's mitt." But Elliot says it's a first baseman's glove, and they argue about it while I turn off the television in disgust because I've had enough today.
All right, I'm back. Sports Night, my therapist said not to watch you no more. She said you're like a disease without any cure. And here's why: did it occur to Kim or Elliot (or really, I guess, Sorkin) that maybe, just maybe, a multibillion-dollar sport that is played around the world might have its own equipment and not have to raid the baseball gear at the sporting-goods store? A goalie does not wear a catcher's mitt or a first baseman's glove. He wears a blocker and a trapper. The blocker is like a regular hockey glove with individual fingers plus a rectangular pad on top; this is the glove a goalie holds his stick with. The trapper is the glove that Kim and Elliot are talking about; it is like an oversized baseball glove. But put a trapper next to any baseball glove and tell me it's the same thing and you need your eyes checked. So I'm ignoring the rest of this scene, but for the record, Dana's concerned about her hair.
Jeremy's voice-over starts in with the history of Dana Whitaker, how she has like eight million brothers but her mom sent her to all-girls' schools so she would become a lady, and I don't know what Dana's mom was smoking, but any girls I've known who went to all-girls' schools were way more bad-ass than the public-school girls. ["That's goddamn right." -- Sars] Jeremy's voice-over: "The result is an irresistible combination of brilliance inside the office and something a little less than brilliance anywhere outside of it." Who talks like this, this "irresistible combination" crap? He sounds like he's pitching a stupid sitcom to network execs or something. Through all this, we are treated to Dana giving orders and striding around the Sports Night sets, and then she sees Casey walking by, so she's reduced to ditzy gibbering idiot status and goes rushing after him as he walks through the newsroom.