Sports Night
Kafelnikov

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Kafelnikov

In the control room, Jeremy is frantically flipping through some sort of manual with a flashlight, surrounded by many candles, looking like that old Police video. Dana comes in. Jeremy, sounding very frazzled, says everything's going to be okay. "Is all the power out?" says Dana. "No, of course not," says Jeremy. Dana wants to know what they lost. "We lost the control room." "Yes." "And the studio." "Okay." "The newsroom and the offices, editing, graphics, engineering, sound." Dana deduces that nothing is working. "I thought you said we didn't lose all power," she says. "I thought you meant the whole city." Dana is starting to get nervous. "You have to end this test now." Uh, Dana? I think the test is over. Jeremy failed. Dana says he can try again another time. She tells him he has to tell the computers that it's not January first. Jeremy says he can't get the computers back (astonishingly enough, I guess, what with THE POWER BEING OUT and everything). Dana asks him why he can't get the computers back. Jeremy says, "You see anything that runs on electricity working right now?" "You really think this is the best time to get snippy with me?" says Dana. Maybe not, but it was a stupid question, Dana. I mean, fuck. Jeremy says he's going to Physical Resource and he'll be back in a few minutes. "Fine," says Dana. Jeremy walks off camera. We hear a thud, followed by Jeremy saying, "I've walked into a door," and Dana says "fine" and if this turns into Fawlty Towers or something, I'm out of here.

Dana walks into the newsroom and yells, "Natalie?" and Natalie says, "I'm right here," popping out at her like Jason, and Dan shrieks accordingly. "Isn't this cool?" says Natalie, like the last time I remember a power outage being "cool" was maybe Grade 4. Dana says it isn't cool. They walk through the newsroom, managing to avoid tripping or hitting anything. Dana tells Natalie to prep Studio B, which Natalie calls a hole. Dana agrees that their studio is much nicer, but the problem is they can't see it. Natalie sees the wisdom in that and heads upstairs. Dana deigns to address the newsroom, calling out to the darkness, "Did everybody hear that, we're doing the show upstairs tonight." Silence. "Is there even anybody here in this room right now?" A bunch of people, obviously unused to exercising their vocal cords, say "yes." And the sadistic treatment of the extras continues, as the only time they're allowed to speak is when they're all in darkness and you can't see them. Dana walks out.

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Sports Night

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