Sports Night
Kafelnikov

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Kafelnikov

Just as everybody's about to go, Isaac hobbles in and says, "The next millennium will be spectacular," he says. "I'm managing editor of Sports Night and 100 years ago I wasn't allowed to vote." Man! Isaac's older than I thought! "The future's just fine with me," he says. Everyone reflects while he talks about how amusing it is that a computer that can calculate the quadratic equation in a nanosecond goes screwy when it's asked to count to 2000. He says, "I'll see you upstairs," and hobbles off, and everybody laughs indulgently, the same way you do at a family reunion when Grandpa gets smashed on Drambuie. Jeremy, much calmer, apologizes to everybody.

Dana stops everyone just before they head upstairs and says, "Jeremy, which button did you hit?" "When?" "When the lights went out." "Video release," he says. "You didn't," says Dana. "Yes, I did," says Jeremy. "I was looking right at the button. It said 'video release.' It was video release." "No," says Dana, "and I think this is interesting. This section of the board was rewired this morning." She's only remembering this now? "Why aren't the consoles relabelled?" asks Jeremy. "As far as that's concerned, there's no question there's a way to look at this where it's my fault." "What's another way to look at it?" says Jeremy. "There's no other way to look at it," says Dana. Jeremy wants to know which button he pushed and Dana thinks he'll find it ironic. "I pushed the panic button?" says Jeremy. He spazzes. "Hey!" says Dana. "I said I was sorry, it was heartfelt, I made an apology." "No you didn't," says Casey. "Like I need to apologize with you people," says the ever-petulant executive producer. Jeremy pushes another button, and magically everything comes back on: lights, monitors, et cetera. The TCs, who apparently were right outside the door instead of upstairs, rush in and everybody settles into their usual seats. "My home," says Casey. Dana says to Jeremy, "I'm honestly sorry." Jeremy says, "There's no point in assigning blame," so you know what's coming. Elliot walks in and says, "What happened?" and Jeremy gleefully says, "It was Dana's fault!" I almost wish the power had stayed off, because of course Jeremy has to taunt the computer about how it won the battle but there's still a war to be waged. Natalie asks him if the computer ever talks back to him, and he says "no."

At the desk, Casey is talking to my favourite character, Fluffer Allison, as she does his makeup. "The human mind, Allison, it won't be denied," he says. "Good," says Allison. "It just won't," says Casey. "'Kay," says Allison. "You can try denying it, but it won't work, you know why?" says Casey. "'Cause it's the human mind?" says Allison. "Damn straight," says Casey. "Can I go?" says Allison. "Yes," says Casey. Bye, Allison! I love you! Speaking of the human mind being denied, Dan hasn't said a word. "Sure you don't want to talk about anything?" says Casey. Yes, says Dan. Casey asks if he's going to see Abby again. "Yes," says Dan. "Good," says Casey. "I think I may have some stuff going on," says Dan. "I know," says Casey. "It's going to be okay," says Dan. "I know," says Casey. Man, when these guys open up, there's just no holding back. Casey tells Dan the human mind will not be denied. Then he sits in his chair, which breaks again, denying the human ass.

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Sports Night

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