Sports Night
Kyle Whitaker's Got Two Sacks

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+
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As this episode opens, Natalie is zipping around dropping off various papers to various people as the show is just about to go live. At the desk, Casey is being fixed up by the fluffers and calls for Jeremy because he doesn't have the shot sheet for the Phoenix game. Jeremy says it should be in there, but Casey says it isn't. Jeremy says "hang on" and starts rifling through his stuff. Casey gets a little more agitated about not having the shot sheet, and Jeremy gets a little more frantic looking for it. "Did not see the Phoenix game, could not tell you about it without I have a shot sheet," says Casey, and I really hope his ESL classes work out for him.

Jeremy runs into the newsroom and yells, "Who's seen Corbin Davis?" but of course the extras are not allowed to respond. Then Jeremy asks if anyone at least saw the Phoenix game. Again, no one says anything. "Nobody, thank you for all your help," says Jeremy and runs on out of there, leaving a little smoke cloud that looks just like him.

Back at the desk, Casey says, "It's not like I couldn't do it without the shot sheet." Without even looking up, Dan says, "Please don't start." Casey continues, saying it's the same as play-by-play, which it isn't, not quite, and Dan tries in vain to put a stop to this madness by saying "dude." But Casey, despite Dan saying "dude," says, "I can do it." "No, you can't," says Dan, finally looking at him. "I got nervous that time," says Casey. "Yes, you did," says Dan. In the control room, more lingo that means they are getting ever closer to going live. Through the back window we see Jeremy still running. Dana enters the control room, giddy and wearing pink. "Two sacks my little brother got tonight!" she says, waving a piece of paper around. "Sacked the quarterback on Monday Night Football, not once, but twice," and I wonder what really obscure, but apt, reference Dennis Miller would make about it. Natalie continues to do Dana's job in addition to her own as Dana brags about her little brother. "That's Whitaker blood," says Dana. "Good blood," says Natalie, and then Dana goes off for about half an hour on how excellent Whitaker blood is and it makes grown offensive linemen cry like little girls. Then Dana tells Elliot to stand where he is because she's going to sack him. "What?" says Elliot. And Dana goes into this gangly, knock-kneed three-point stance, which is probably the best three-point stance you're going to get while wearing a skirt.

In a production room, three guys we've never seen before are watching music videos. You can tell one of them is the head slacker because he's kicking back with his feet up. Jeremy busts in and asks this guy (Corbin Davis, apparently) where the shot sheet for Phoenix is. Corbin seems really confused. Jeremy shuts off the video and says, "Guys, we watch sports around here," and lunges for the door and runs out. I can understand his urgency, but he's too late, because back at the desk, Casey is already holding forth in that pompous voice of his, talking about calling the highlights without a shot sheet like in the "days of old." Dan says again that Casey can't do it. "Why not?" "No other reason than because it's you," says Dan. "What about the days of yore?" "I miss them too," says Dan. Jeremy runs up to the desk and says he's going to slide Phoenix to the fifties, super-speed the tape through and get it to them in the four-block. "Are you telling me it's not that we can't find the shot sheet, it's that nobody did the shot sheet?" says Dan incredulously. "Tell Dana," says Casey. "I'm really looking forward to that," says Jeremy, as he heads to the control room. Then Casey says, "Shot sheets are for wimps." This coming from a guy who cakes on the makeup every night.

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