Sports Night
Sports Night

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 1068 USERS: C+
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La Forza Del Destino

Back at the other table, Natalie says, "Jeremy? I've had a couple of drinks so I think I have the courage to tell you this," and Dana, sandwiched between the two of them at the table, gets this "uh-oh" look on her face and tells Natalie that if Natalie's going to tell Jeremy something that requires courage, then maybe she should leave, but Natalie says it's okay. "I'm still in love with you," says Natalie, and Dana tries desperately to get away, as do I. Jeremy tries to speak but Natalie says, "There hasn't been a day since I broke up with you that I haven't wanted you back," so of course Jeremy says, "I broke up with you," and Natalie says, "There have been a couple of days," as her face turns to stone. Then Natalie suggests maybe it's the "coconut piña colada" talking (and I would rather hear the piña colada talk than her right now), or these mood swings she's been having, but she actually hates Jeremy's living guts. Dana tries desperately to shut Natalie up, and I sit here with a notepad, forced to recap this, and I think I know now how wolves feel just before they chew off their own legs to escape hunters' traps. I am kind of relieved that Dan and Casey join them at the table, at least until Casey launches into the exact same speech about desperate times that Dan tried on Kim, so maybe these guys share failed pickup lines or something, or maybe this was a sure-fire way to score with women in the latest issue of Maxim, but when Casey gets to the "sleep with each other" part, he stares straight at Dana, who stares right back at him, unmoved. Natalie says, "If Jeremy wanted, he could have me anytime, anywhere," as Sorkin continues to probably rewrite some personal history of his own, like what guy doesn't want a dumped girlfriend to spout this inane dialogue that Natalie is saying right now, that she would do things to his mind and body that she thinks he'd really enjoy, like would someone please shut her up. Dana says, "Would you please for the love of God let me out," and Jeremy gets up to let her out. Dana's going to get more drinks, and of course the guys all want beer because they're such manly men and Natalie asks for a "coconut piña colada," like could you please stop calling it that, Natalie, piña coladas are supposed to have coconut in them, so this is like asking for an "orange-juice screwdriver" or a "tonic-water gin and tonic," and Dana wonders how she's supposed to remember all that, and Jeremy says, "It's three beers and a piña colada -- do you want a mnemonic device?" which cracked me up, and Dana snaps at him and then says "three beers and a coconut piña colada" and goes to get them.

Sports Night

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